Page 8 of My Forbidden Valentine

"She did?"

I nod.

"None of us like to do this. If any of them did, I'd delegate it immediately."

"Let me help you, I separated all the receipts from your suppliers last night. I have a few ideas on how to make the process work best for you. If you don't have a process, you'll be buried again in paperwork in a few days' time."

I grab one of the chairs and sit next to August. I bump my left knee into his thigh. "Sorry."

He shakes his head, and it's almost like he isn't here for a moment, then he comes back. We work for a few hours, going back and forth with invoices, quotes, receipts, me asking what a specific thing means, August asking me why I organized the things the way I did, it's nice to work with him like this. He is a bit awkward, but he doesn't make me feel I should know what any of that stuff means, I might be good at organizing but I'm not an accountant. Eventually, August slides slightly back from the desk and sinks into his chair, slightly relaxing. We've made amazing progress, pretty much all of it has been done and we have worked out a system that will work for everyone who works at the garage. "You are good at this."

"Good at what?"

"Paperwork, organizing things."

"Well, pretty much everyone is. It's not that big of a deal."

He turns to face me and I feel incredibly close to him.

"Why are you saying that? It is a big deal. It's an incredible skill to have."

"Skills like that don't give you jobs."

I struggled in college, struggled to find the right major for me and when it was time to get a job, I struggled to figure out what kind of jobs I wanted to apply for. Eventually I landed on something but I have been hopping between jobs ever since then. Being this clueless about my job was not a problem Iforesaw having at this age. Everyone around me already has stable jobs and most of them also are either starting to get pregnant or already have kids. I don't have any of that, I'm not even sure if I want kids. And living here in Hope Peak, my small town and the place that I love, only shows me how far I am from the average person here. It's grueling sometimes. It shouldn't matter this much but I'm still feeling a bit mentally worn out after last night.

"I bet if you went around town asking people if they needed your help, you'd be surprised how many people would take it." His face is stern but there's kindness in it.

"You think?"

"I'm sure. I’ve helped Mae from Peak Produce with her orders and I'm not even half as competent as you are." He sighs. "People never really tell you that running a garage is not just fixing cars. Luckily, I know enough to get by but as you see, it's still a mess. Every Friday I'm in here trying to do it all. So you saying it's not that big of a deal? That's bullshit."

I pull back feeling the weight behind his words, a wake-up call. I’ve been trying to find jobs that would accept me based on my major and my hardworking capabilities but I never tried to find a job that would suit me and my personality. Perhaps I've been wrong all along, maybe if I try to do it the other way around I can finally trace my own path instead of following everyone else's.

I don't know how long I've been going over what he said and organizing my thoughts but he interrupts them. "Sorry, I'm too blunt sometimes."

"No, not at all. You've given me a lot to think about. I was laid off recently, and it feels like the perfect time to give this a go."

"Want to start here? A few hours a week, just for you to see if you like it."

His eyes widen almost like he is surprised by his invite. My surprise matches his but there's also gratitude for him, to make me realize I can do something else, to give me the opportunity to be more, to let me do this experiment. It might not be right for me, but it's a step in another direction, one that doesn't seem as strenuous as every other step I've taken lately.

"That would be great. We could do a trial for one month."

"Sure."

I need to say something. Otherwise I'll explode.

"You don't let people get to know you, do you?"

"Everyone avoids speaking with you because you're always grumpy and abrupt but you have been nothing but kind to me. You came to pick me up yesterday, you're offering me a job today. I have a lot to thank you for."

"It's nothing. I told you."

"It's not nothing. I was wrecked last night, feeling like a failure for being stood up like that."

His jaw ticks and I feel his anger bubbling up. It makes me want to get closer to him, feeling his protectiveness. It's enough to send a soothing feeling to my chest. I don't resist the urge and I get close enough to smell him. Who cares about all the reasons why we shouldn't be together? I want one day from him, nothing more. All I need is to soothe this aching need that pulls me towards him.

"Would you have stood me up?"

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