Page 54 of Always

Nothing.

Even knowing I won’t be fucking her, I should at least be getting turned on.

But not even a little bit.

Damn it!

How is this possible? That I’m not enjoying something that used to give me such pleasure?

I walk to the wall and replace the flogger.

Then I loosen Emily’s bindings and gently massage her wrists.

“Sir?” she asks.

“Do not speak,” I command.

She nods solemnly.

“Rise,” I say.

She obeys.

“You will dress and leave my suite. Return to the club. You will not speak of this. Is that understood?”

She nods again, if possible even more solemnly than the last time.

“Emily, have you ever thought about the underlying reason that you enjoy breath play?”

She doesn’t speak.

“You may answer,” I tell her.

She swallows hard, her eyes darting briefly to the floor before meeting my gaze. “I don’t know,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Perhaps you should,” I suggest, keeping my tone neutral.

She nods again, her lower lip trembling slightly. “Yes, sir.”

“You’re dismissed,” I say firmly.

Emily dresses and leaves without another word.

Once the door closes behind her, I lean back against the coolwall and let out a deep breath. The room is silent except for the faint echoes of jazz music from the club beyond.

The emptiness descends on me almost immediately, a dull ache gnawing at my insides. I rub a hand over my face, frustrated and confused.

I thought Emily would distract me, but it’s clear where my thoughts are. No one can replace Skye in my mind, no matter how submissive or eager they are to please. It’s not just about the physical act. It’s the connection, the trust, and the intimacy that goes beyond BDSM.

I stare at the empty bed and consider my reflection in a mirror across the room.

And for the first time, I don’t see a whole person.

Something is missing in my reflection.

And I know what it is.

Chapter Nineteen