Page 13 of Always

I didn’t take it.

I don’t take drugs to help me sleep. I didn’t even fill the prescription. I’ll drink a cup of chamomile tea—which tastes like shit, by the way—but that’s about as far as I’ll go with insomnia treatments. Some insomnia is a fact of life for someone with my responsibilities. So many people depend on me, and if I fuck up, many more than just me will suffer.

That’s a lot to deal with on a daily basis.

So I go without sleep a lot, and when I need a jolt that caffeine can’t give me, I take a cold shower or immerse myself in a cold plunge.

That’s what I do this morning.

Ten minutes in icy-cold water.

And let me tell you—those are tenlongminutes.

But nothing clears your head like a cold plunge. Ben calls it forced meditation, and he’s right because all you can think about as you’re neck-deep is not freezing your balls off.

He and I usually take a plunge together or with a trainer. It’s not a good idea to do it alone. Sudden exposure to cold water can cause cold-shock response, which includes rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and a risk of hyperventilation. Alone, you could struggle to control your breathing, increasing the chance of panic or even fainting. You could also lose muscle function or,if hypothermia sets in, you can become disoriented or even lose consciousness.

I’m not the panicky type, and I’ve never fainted in my life. I know the risks, and I choose to take the plunge alone anyway. I keep the temperature at fifty-five degrees, and I set my timer for ten minutes. That’s my max.

Besides, I need this after another restless night.

I immerse myself into the cold water up to my neck, close my eyes, and concentrate on keeping warm. It’s impossible, of course, given that I’m in icy-cold water, but that’s why it works.

Forced meditation.

I breathe in, breathe out, focus only on the air coming into and leaving my body.

Nothing else can edge itself into my mind.

And damn, that’s what I need.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Until finally my timer rings, and I rise from the tub and grab a heated towel from my rack.

I cocoon myself in the cotton towel.

The beauty of the plunge is that the meditation continues for several more minutes as you warm yourself.

And when the thoughts finally come, there’s a moment of clarity every time.

I know what I need to do.

Once I’m warm, I take a quick shower and dress in casual clothes. No suit and tie today. Odd for me, but I’m not feeling it.

Besides, I won’t be in the office for long.

When I finally look at my phone, I see that Skye has posted again. Another selfie, this time right after she got out of bed.

God, she looks good. Bedhead never looked so great on anyone. Her cheeks are fresh and rosy. Apparentlyshedidn’t have anytrouble sleeping last night.

Damn her.

She’s fucking glowing, her tousled hair around her creamy shoulders.

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