Page 12 of Always

I’ve fallen in love.

“I never meant to…” I say with a sigh.

“Never meant to what?” Ben asks.

“I never meant to fall in love with Skye.”

“No shit,” he says. “I figured I’d fall way before you ever did, and I’m nowhere near done sowing my wild oats.”

I let out a scoff. “You’re a big help.”

“Look, Bray,” he says. “I want you happy. You’re my big brother, and I know what you’ve been through in your life. Everything Dad and I have today is because of you. I never forget that.”

“Don’t,” I say. “Without you and Dad, my business never would have gotten off the ground.”

“Maybe not, but it was your idea…and you got the cash.”

I shake my head. “Don’t remind me.”

Ben sighs. “I have a lot of regrets in my life, some you don’t even know about—”

I open my mouth to ask, but he holds up his hand.

“Don’t bother. Some things are going to my grave. My point is we’ve all fucked up. Don’t keep yourself from Skye because of some misguided conception that you don’t deserve her.”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Sometimes my little brother amazes me. His words grip me with a sudden clarity.

He’s right. Part of me still blames myself for what happened with Addison.

She begged me for it, but I’m the one who carried it out.

I choked the air out of her.

And when Skye asked me for the same thing…

I felt sick. A cold knot of fear twisted in my gut. I didn’t want to revisit that dark chapter of my life. And for just a moment, I wondered ifIwas the one being punished. If this woman who I loved was sent here only to remind me of that horrible time and to make sure I paid for it.

That I didn’t deserve happiness.

That I didn’t deserveSkye.

But none of that changes what I believe in and how I’m going to live my life. I enjoy the BDSM lifestyle. I love seeing a woman bound, ready to obey, collared and laid out for my pleasure.

And I have one hard limit.

That’s not going to change.

I glance at Ben, his face etched with a rare seriousness. The jovial, devil-may-care brother I know seems to have beenreplaced by someone who understands more about me than I’ve ever given him credit for.

“You need to get her back,” Ben says. “Do whatever you have to do to work out what’s gone wrong between you. You need her, Bray. And I have a feeling she needs you, too.”

Chapter Five

My physician prescribed Ambien for me a while back when I was having trouble sleeping.

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