Page 33 of Collide (Collide 1)

Chapter 11: Sea of Uncertainty

The next morning Gavin brewed a pot of coffee, hoping the caffeine buzz would jolt his thoughts away from Emily. Walking over to a window in his penthouse, he found the sky besieged by threatening gray clouds hovering over the city. It fit his mood perfectly. Agitation with his lack of self-control crawled through his system as stealthy recollections of Emily's sweet lips weaved through his mind. The smell of her perfume clinging to his skin permeated his pores. . . and by God, it was intoxicating him by the minute. Though his body still hummed with pleasure from their encounter, his mind was caught in a tangled web of emotions.

A knock at the door broke through the heated events rolling around in his head. Opening it, he found Trevor wearing a wide smile, denoting he was in a far better frame of mind than Gavin.

"Damn, dude, you look like shit," Trevor said, settling on the couch with his long legs sprawled out in front of him.

Gavin poured a cup of coffee and perched himself on a barstool in the kitchen. "I couldn't sleep. "

"Sorry about that, bro. I, however, slept like a baby wrapped in Fallon's arms. "

A weak smile tipped Gavin's mouth. "Sounds like it went well. "

"Beyond well," he replied with a smile. "I actually dig her. She has this funky, cool personality, and to top it all off, she's a little freak. I mean, she goes both ways. "

With the cock of his brow, Gavin smirked. "Your sister goes both ways, too. "

Trevor cringed. "Did you really have to kill my buzz, bringing that up?"

Gavin shrugged casually.

Trevor stared at him for several seconds, seeming to read something in his eyes. "So are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Emily?"

"Nothing's going on with me and Emily," he clipped, his tone harsh.

"Dude, we've known each other for fourteen years. I had a feeling something was up with you two, and last night only confirmed it. "

Gavin got up and sauntered over to the window as he contemplated what to say. His answer was slow and apprehensive. "I'm in deep. "

"Bro, please don't tell me you fucked her. "

He turned and pinned him with a hard glare. "No, I didn't fuck her, Trevor. "

"Well, what the hell's going on?"

Nibbling at his lip, Gavin paced the room like a caged animal. He didn't know how to explain what he felt for Emily. He didn't know how Trevor would perceive him after confessing to everything either. The only thing he knew was that he couldn't make sense of his emotions, and in that moment, he didn't care if he should.

He felt what he felt.

End. Of. Story.

"Dude, just come out and say it. "

Gavin plowed his hands through his hair and regarded him from across the room. "I think I'm falling for her. "

With disapproving eyes, Trevor's mouth hung slightly agape. He stood up and walked over to him. "You do know Dillon's our friend, right?"

A frown marred Gavin's features. "What kind of question is that?" he asked as if the answer should be obvious.

"Come on, Gavin. How did you fall for our friend's girl?"

"I met her before I knew she was with Dillon," he replied, the words stated through gritted teeth. He padded back over to the counter and downed the rest of his coffee.

"Wait, I thought the first time you met her was that night at the club. "

Gavin sighed deeply, placing his hands on the back of his neck. "No, it's complicated. She delivered food to my office. I tried to get her number. . . " He paused, his stomach twisting as he remembered the first time he saw Emily. Even now, the thought of her nearly evaporated the oxygen from his lungs. "Or maybe I tried giving her my number. I can't fucking remember; it was back in June. I went to her job the next day to see her, and then we were introduced a few days later. "

Trevor walked back over to the couch, sinking into it. "Look, dude, I'm going to be brutally honest here. " Gavin eyed him from across the room. "He's planning on marrying her - soon. "

Again, oxygen nearly depleted, Gavin swallowed hard and leaned against the counter. "He told you that?"

"Surely, he's mentioned it to you?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think he was serious. " A gut-wrenching ache ran through his stomach as his chest constricted at the thought. "Besides, he doesn't love her. Do you honestly believe he stopped fucking around with Monica? I sure as shit don't. "

"Knowing him, you're probably right. But, to tell you the truth, bro, I don't think about it. What he does is his business. Emily's with him for her own reasons, and as far as I'm concerned, she chooses to see what she wants. It's as simple as that. "

"Well, it's not that simple for me," he replied, his tone rising.

"It has to be. You need to kill whatever the fuck is going on between you two. "

"I don't think I can. " Hesitating, he drew in a lungful of air, his voice dropping a notch. "She's supposed to be with me. "

"Dude, this can only end in disaster. Gavin - seriously - you need to really think about what you're doing. Just think about it. She loves him, too. "

"She doesn't love him," he scoffed. "She's just confused or something. He may be my friend, but just like all the rest, he fucks with her head and drags her into his morphed sense of need for him. "

"No. You're fucking with your own head by thinking she doesn't love him. Listen to yourself, bro. Take a step back and honestly listen to what you're saying here. "

Although he didn't speak, Gavin's eyes hardened like shards of glass splintering away from a broken mirror.

"Look, man, I'm just being honest. It's a bad situation. You know it, and I know it. "

"I'm not denying that it's a bad situation!" he tossed his hands up, the words cracking like thunder. "Do I look like some kind of asshole? A snake is a snake, no matter how many times it sheds its skin! He's no fucking good for her!"

Blowing out a breath, Trevor walked over to the door. He turned around and looked back to Gavin. "You're like a brother to me, dude, but I think you're trying to vilify Dillon for your own personal needs right now. And, to tell you the truth, you're putting me in a bad spot. I can already see this shit's gonna get crazy, and I don't want any part of it. "

Sitting back down, Gavin looked at him from across the room, defeat playing in his eyes. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"You need to forget about her. The whole fucking thing's a mistake. And, more importantly, you have to remember that Dillon's your friend. " Trevor exhaled heavily and shook his head before walking out the door. "I'll call you later, bro. "

The advice was so simple. Just forget her. The words couldn't be closer to the truth. This might have been a huge mistake, but the man at the receiving end couldn't see that. He outright refused to. Emily would never be a mistake to him, no matter how many people he hurt in the process - including himself. Everything he and Emily could be was real for Gavin. When he said that he felt she was supposed to be with him, it wasn't just a heated statement. It wasn't just an inclination. From the first time their eyes met, he felt it down to the lowest depths of his soul, right down to the bottom of his core. She had been made for him in every possible way. Even though she was the very definition of off-limits, his mind and heart screamed to throw it all to the wind and let the whole fucking thing burn to the ground. Therefore, into the sea of uncertainty, he would plunge - trying to make her his - and he feared neither friend nor foe could stop him. He just prayed the woman that saturated his thoughts felt the same.

Emily awoke feeling as if she had swallowed a handful of nails. Her throat was burning raw as reckless images of the night before played throughout her mind. The thoughts, scattering around like marbles, only made her temples blossom into a full-blown headache. Guilt for what she had done to Dillon and their relationship burned almost as hot as her insatiable arousal for Gavin.

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