Page 30 of Donner

"And Rudolph is your cousin?"

"My great-great-who-knows-how-many-grandfathers was his father. We still do family gatherings together, the Donners and the Rudolphs." I sighed as I stared up at him. "I don't want to talk about my extended family. I'd rather suck your dick." I slipped my hand between us to grab him as an exclamation point.

"We will talk about this later." Later ended on a strangled groan as I returned to my spot between his legs and proceeded to blow his mind.

After we showered, it was already well past noon. We ordered another round of room service and talked about my vague Christmas Eve worries over sandwiches and fries.

"I know it's silly," I finally said after starting and stopping several times. The arguments sounded great in my head, but once I tried to convert them to words for Beau, I recognized them as excuses and outright lies.

"It's not silly," he said. "Everyone wants to do the best job they can. You had a big moment last year, your time to shine. You should be proud."

I nodded, but I wasn't proud. "I did what any of the others would have done in my position."

"Except they didn't see it, and you did."

"What if I don't see the next one?"

"What if it's not your turn?"

I frowned. It was always my turn to find the shortest path of least turbulence, to help our Santa be efficient while also getting him home in one piece after delivering our allotment of presents.

"What if it's Dancer's turn, or Comet's?" he asked. "What if the fog is bad enough for Rudolph to use his beacon again? You don't have to save Christmas every time." He kissed me on the top of my head.

He had a point. If I continued to think it was my responsibility to save my crew time and again, I would end up like my father, the unwavering archetype of our name, and nothing but a bully to my coworkers and family. I didn't want to be seen that way. I only hoped I wasn't too set in my ways to change.

Chapter 18

Beau

After our night at the club, we spent the next day in bed. The morning after that, I woke Jax with a blowjob at dawn. Once he was sufficiently awake, I gave him the opportunity to tell me to stop, but he shoved my head down and ordered me to continue.

Once we were showered and dressed, we headed to the hotel's lobby to browse their breakfast options. We helped ourselves to coffee and toast, and then we found a table by the window overlooking the large outdoor pool the rest of the hotel's guests were using. The pool was already full of children frolicking and yelling, some at a high enough pitch to be called screaming.

Jax looked embarrassed. "Sorry. The kids are loud."

"Sorry?" I frowned. "First, they're not your kids, so you have no reason to claim responsibility for them. Second, kids are always loud. They're kids."

He nodded, but he twisted his hands in his lap instead of taking another bite of toast. "My dad would be so angry right now."

I snorted, unable to stop myself or my bird from our indignant response. "If that's how dads act around other people's kids, I'm glad I grew up without one."

Jax stared at me for a moment. His lips moved, but nothing audible came out.

"Jax."

He closed his mouth.

"Those kids are on vacation, " I continued. "They're not hurting anyone with their loud voices and even louder swim trunks. They're doing what kids are supposed to do. They're having fun."

He nodded. "Fun. Right."

I wanted to say more, like I couldn't wait to see Jax play in the pool with our own kids one day, but I didn't want to spook him. Claiming bites and mating sex didn't automatically make us a bonded pair, and we obviously needed to overcome some of Jax's fears before we even thought about having our own kids.

We hadn't used condoms, and I didn't know about reindeer, but Jax's confession that he hadn't gone into heat this year made me wonder if he could get pregnant right now. He'd been so stressed before his vacation.

I put aside my wish to take Jax shopping for another day. Instead, when we finished eating, I dragged him outside to the screaming kids and the huge pool. We were dressed for shopping, not swimming, but our shorts would double as swim trunks easily enough.

"Let's swim with the kids."

---