Page 2 of Carnal

“I get super emotional around my period. You know that. I try and keep it concealed, but sometimes the insecurity and the influx of hormones gets super overwhelming, and I start questioning myself a lot. So… I’d start asking him for reassurance, but he didn’t get it. He thought I was picking fights and using my hormones as a means to control his emotions and act however I want without regard.”

“Okay,” her tone turns low, “that’s fucked up.”

“Yeah. He was also super unsupportive of my writing career. I know I’ve been working on the same story for years,but… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy. The worst part was that I tried to talk to him and explain myself, but he still couldn’t see me.” I unlock the door to my jeep and slide inside, starting up the engine to blast warm air. “Once we broke up, we were friends again. He didn’t have to support me in a romantic way, and he was happy about that, so we stayed in touch here and there, though the calls are really far and few between now.”

“Well, he’s an asshole, so… you should probably be with his father.”

I laugh. “Yeah, I don’t know about that, but I’m glad to hear you’re coming around.”

“Seriously, though, what’s so great about Ryder?”

I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing my hands together in front of the heater. “Umm… what’s not so great about him? He’s a sit with you in the kitchen and feed you cookies and tea while you’re a crying kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy who wants you sitting with him while he’s doing chores. The kind that talked to me for hours about book plots. I remember this one time after my parents died, I went to Mason’s house for support because I didn’t have anyone back then. Mason fell asleep, of course, so I got up for a snack and Ryder was in the living room watching a baseball game. He stopped everything he was doing and talked me off a ledge that night. He was warm and comforting, and he listened without needing to hear his own voice for hours. I fell asleep on the couch talking to him.”

“God, weren’t you like seventeen when your parents died? That’s sick.”

“No! I was eighteen, and it’s not sick. Nothing happened. He just listened. Besides, you’re down there at the ranch every day, cooking for people, overhearing their love stories. Don’t you run into any age gap romances that work out?”

“No. I focus on cooking, not eavesdropping. I don’t want love. It’s stupid and annoying, and it gets in the way of beingsuccessful with other things. Things that actually matter.” She wrinkles up a bag and I hear the soft slam of a cupboard door. “That aside, if we were to solve your Ryder problem, I can only think of one thing that would help.”

“What’s that?”

“You need a hard reset, something that’ll get him out of your system once and for all.”

I turn down the heater to hear her better. Whatever’s coming, I guess it’s going to be good by the way she’s built up the suspense. “Sounds promising. What magic pill are you suggesting?”

She drags in a deep breath. “Youneedto fuck him.”

“Fuck him? So, how do you propose I do this? Seduce him in a bathrobe or maybe a steak dinner? He doesn’t even know I like him. I think he’ll be alarmed.”

Why can I hear her eyes roll? “He’s a man. He won’t be alarmed. He’ll watch you spread your pretty little legs, he’ll get all hot and bothered, and bam… job done. I promise once you fuck the man, the whole obsession will be over, and you can move on with your life.”

I open my mouth to speak, but I’m not sure what to say. I don’t think fucking Ryder will get him out of my mind. I think it’ll make everything a whole lot more complicated, but still, it’s the best plan I’ve heard yet.

Chapter Two

Ryder

Mason stares at me from across the dining room table. Every year he gets older, I’m reminded I’m aging myself, and it ain’t pretty. I don’t know where time goes. One second I’m his age, chopping down logs in the back forty like an animal with energy to burn. Next thing I know, I’m home on the couch with a sore back and knees that need ice and painkillers to unlock.

“I’m moving home.” He swallows hard and taps his fork against his plate as he talks, barely looking up. “Texas isn’t for me.”

“Why?” My response is a surprise, even to myself. I’ve wanted Mason home since the day he left, but I can’t figure why he wants to be here all the sudden. Six months ago, Rugged Mountain was the most vile place on Earth. He hated the mountains, the weather, the small-town vibe, the same old people, and the lack of modern technology. He wouldn’t say a good thing about it if you paid him.

“I thought you’d be happy. This is good news.” He glances up from his plate, then down again, this time spinning his fork through the venison steak as though he’s not interested in eating.

“I’m over the moon, but a bit surprised. You’ve got me wonderin’ if there’s a reason is all.”

“Nothing other than realizing what I was missing up here. Austin is fine, but everyone does their own thing. I had a flat tire last week, and I had to call a tow. Up here, someone would’ve pulled over to help no matter what they had going on. When I took a step back, I missed the diner, and the bakery, and the snow. Christmas was weird this year, all brown and green.”

“What about the job you just started? You were hell bent on gettin’ that welding job at the steel company. It’s good pay.”

He narrows his brows and lets his fork drop to the plate. “I thought you’d stand up, hug me, and tell me you were happy I’d finally come to my senses. What the hell, dad?”

He’s right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be happy he’s coming home.I am.Of course I’m happy.

I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly before standing from the table to make my way around to him. “I’m… more than happy. Everybody around here’s been missin’ ya. You lookin’ to log or you still wanna weld? I know guys everywhere.”

“Weld. I figured I could talk to Julie about a job out in the mines. I heard they need help with the chutes and pipelines.”

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