Page 46 of Loving Decker

Mama came in just then. “Decker, honey, could you help me reach something in the pantry?”

With a certain amount of relief and trepidation, he followed her out of the room. Helping Mama in the pantry always included lots of talk, and sometimes it was the uncomfortable kind that pointed out how you could do better. But it was always loving in her own way.

He followed her into the kitchen, and she did indeed have a couple boxes of their food storage items to place back up on the top shelf. “Thanks, Decker. It’s so helpful to have all you tall men around to do things like this.” She patted his arm. “But I know you won’t always be around here forever.”

“Of course we will. Where are we gonna go?”

“I don’t know about the others. Who knows where the Lord will take them. But you? Haven’t you always been keeping one eye on New York?”

He followed her through the pantry to her small office in the back. She could use any room in the house, dad’s old office, her bedroom, or they could build her another, but she preferred her space.

And after he breathed in her dried herbs and flowers and saw the quotes on the walls, the many books that lined her bookcases, he knew she would never trade it for another. This room would always be hers.

Decker smiled at the large and worn Bible in the center of her desk. He wondered how many times she’d read it.

“Sit down, Decker. Let’s talk.”

“I need it, don’t I?”

“Well now, you say that like needing a talk with your Mom is tantamount to being in trouble or messing up or something.”

“I’m just in a bind. I don’t know what to do. Tonight I messed up somehow, and I don’t know what I did.”

“It’s looking like you’re really seeing Faith for the wonderful woman she is, is that right?”

“Yeah, I am. We haven’t tried being anything but friends before, but everything I know about her just makes me want to be with her more. She’s great, you know. She’d be a wonderful wife even.” He was amazed at how easily the words flowed off his tongue. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Now, why not?”

“I haven’t even dated her, not really.”

“But you’ve spent your whole life with her. What will dating teach you that you don’t already know?”

He thought about that for a long moment and then had a moment of clarity. “I guess I’ve been hoping it would show me how she feels about all this. I don’t know what she wants, Mom.”

“Have you asked her?”

“Yes, tonight. And that’s when she really clamped up. Then Grace felt like she had to rescue her and interrupted us, and now Faith is acting weird.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

“No. I mean, she knows I’m interested in giving this a shot.”

“Do you really think you’re gonna change your mind about her?”

He opened his mouth and then closed it. “No.”

“Then why are you just giving this a shot? Why aren’t you going after her like you mean it?”

He started to nod…then stopped. “Wouldn’t that scare her away faster than anything?”

“I don’t think so. And I think what this girl needs is some reassurance. Goodness, heaven knows she needs reassurance. What in her life is a sure thing at the moment?”

He had a sudden window of insight. “Nothing. Wow, nothing at all is sure for her.” Her job at the dentist was probably just to help pay the bills. Her land was possibly being sold. If Willow Creek sold all around her, would she stay? Could she live off the money from the sale? Did she want to live there still? The woman was alone in the world. He could kick himself for the years of him not being there for her. “I feel terrible that right now, this minute, she doesn’t know that she has us. That she has me.”

The meaningful look his mom sent him drove a burst of energy that shot him to his feet. “She should know right now.”

“Yes, she should. But maybe you could tell her on your next date. Let her have some space tonight.”

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