Page 44 of Loving Decker

“And it slows down. I’m convinced time goes slower. Cows need to come down? Grass needs mowing? It’ll wait. And it does.” She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“Thanks for coming to dinner, Faithy. You fit in here. I hope you feel that.”

She nodded against him. “How could I not? You Dawsons are amazing at helping everyone feel loved. Dinner here is a gift. I just wish it lasted.”

He went still again. And then he brought her hand up to his mouth. His kisses, the softness of his lips, tore agonizingly through her. She wanted more than anything to turn to face him, to look into his eyes. Why didn’t she? Why couldn’t she? He tugged her closer, and so she did. His face was full, his eyes dark, intense. “Now I don’t know what exactly you mean by lasting. But I want this to last, too.” He searched her face, and everywhere his gaze went, she felt. And she fought every inclination to lean into him.

“Say something.” He smiled.

She dipped her head. “Oh, right. I’m thinking all kinds of things.”

He laughed, quiet, gentle. “Any of them good?”

“Oh yeah. It’s all good, Deck. I’ve wanted this my whole life it feels like.”

He watched, waited.

But she didn’t know what to say. She’d already admitted more than he had. And she was not going to be the one to change things officially between them. She had spent too much of her life waiting for him to be the one. Who knew if he would backpedal? Who knew what he really wanted.Say something. Her thoughts called out to him, but he waited for her to say something first.

Well. She had. She placed a hand at the side of his face. “I should probably head back.”

His eyes clouded, and his face went blank. “Oh, right. Okay.” He stood too quickly.

“No, wait. Deck…”

“No, it’s okay, I get it. This is all a bit much anyway, right? We have enough to be worrying about besides us.”

“Um, I’m not sure that’s what I meant. You seem to be taking this differently.”

“No, it’s fine. We still on for dancing?”

“Of course. Let’s make a day of it. I have Friday off.”

He nodded. But the magic had dimmed, and he seemed distant. She didn’t know how to bring any of it back.

All her lifelong frustrations with their relationship came rushing back, and suddenly she was more frustrated than she’d ever been. Why couldn’t he just make the first move? Or say something. Tell her how he felt. Anything.

All these years she’d assumed he just didn’t see her that way, and that was probably true. But now? Now when he seemed so into her, when he was flirting like crazy, when he was dating her? Now was the perfect time to say more.

He’d said he wanted them to last. The small reminder touched the outer reaches of her thoughts, but she brushed it away. It wasn’t enough. Not when he could have done so much more.

“You okay?”

“I’m…” She was not okay. “Fine.”

“Oh boy.”

“What?”

“You are definitely not okay. And I’m not sure what I did here. But I learned a long time ago, and it was repeated memorably last Sunday dinner, that when a woman says she’s fine, she is definitely not okay.”

That made Faith laugh.

“Ah, at least you still have your humor. Talk to me, Faithy Haws.”

And the brief respite from her frustration ended.Talk.“Deck, I don’t know what to say.”

“How about some of those thoughts you said you were thinking.” He tugged at her hand, and they started walking out toward the barn.

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