Page 8 of Loving Decker

Faith hoped she was alright. She had her mom and a couple aunts plus an amazing grandma to talk to. It seemed a bit concerning that she was reaching out to Faith, but she would do anything for the sweet girl, for any Dawson, really.

“I’ll be there, girly, and we can cozy up somewhere to chat.”

Decker groaned. “Am I gonna get to talk to you at all?”

“Maybe.” Faith smiled. “We could go for a ride.”

His eyes lit. “I’d like that. Let’s go check out the fence line.”

“Done.”

They used to do that together. It was a chore that somehow fell on them both, and since their properties abutted for a large amount of the acreage, they rode together.

The thought of being out on the land with Deck at her side again made her smile.

“Well, don’t let us keep you. You two go on. And I’ll be seeing you Sunday, dear.” Mama Dawson’s smile felt like another hug.

“See you then.” Faith felt Dawson’s fingers lace with hers again. This was a lot of hand holding for one day. She and Dawson had held hands before. She had been thrilled every time, but for him it just seemed to feel friendly, and he’d never tried to progress into anything else. But this time it felt more insistent, more like he was seeking out her touch. And she liked it.

But was she going to go falling head over heels on the hope that his feelings for her had finally progressed? She was not. She didn’t have time or emotional energy to explore that right now. And she knew she couldn’t take the subtle rejection she would receive if he still didn’t see her as anything other than a friend.

So, right now, she commanded herself to feel only friendly things about his hand warmly encasing hers, about the strength of his fingers, about the solid reassurance that his presence at her side gave. She tried. And failed.

But what she felt was interesting. And confusing. A return of that beautiful warmth and a reminder.His hand is stretched out still.The Lord’s hand, not Decker’s hand, she reminded herself. But then she couldn’t help but wonder if Decker had been sent to her in the hospital as a blessing, or rather, she’d been encouraged to go to the hospital so she would see him there.

Meeting him there definitely did not seem like a coincidence.

So maybe she should just move forward with whatever this was and see it as something God was trying to tell her, or show her.

His eyes turned to hers, full of light and happiness and caring, and she wondered if this was just one way God was trying to make her happy. A happy little blessing during a tough time.

“What is it?” He slowed their steps.

“Nothing.”

“You’re really thinking hard over there. You haven’t said a single thing for too many steps.”

She sighed. “Mostly really good thoughts.”

“But there’s quite a bit to worry over, too.”

“Well, yeah.”

He squeezed her hand, and she felt happy bubbles bouncing around inside. And then holding his hand didn’t feel like enough. She wanted those arms around her giving what she knew to be the best kind of big man hug in the world. She would get lost in his chest and feel the strength of him all around her. She needed one of those. And she needed it bad.

How long had she been on her own? How long had she been telling herself she was fine? But now, knowing a hug like Decker’s was in reach, she knew she was not fine. A hug would be really nice.

But hadn’t she just gone to sit at her grandpa’s side, looking for answers she knew he couldn’t speak?

“Uh, Faithy?”

She turned to him. “I’m sorry. Honestly, my mind is racing. I don’t even know what to say before another thing pops in there.”

“I’m just glad I saw you today.”

“Yeah, I’m happy to not be alone in this.”

They arrived back in front of his truck. His warm eyes pulled her in. She was a puddle, and he didn’t even know it.

---