Page 20 of Loving Decker

As predicted, at the end of her current row, she turned and faced him. The engine cut. And she waited, watching him.

He started walking. And then she turned the engine back on.

With a laugh, he realized she was gonna start coming straight toward him.

But before she could stop again, he swung up to sit behind her. “Well, this is nice.”

Her smell, sweat, the good kind, fruity shampoo in her hair, and Faith, just the comfortable, happy smell of Faith filled the air around them. Something earthy and sweet lifted up from the newly cut grass. His hands itched to pull her back against him.

She kept driving. But a small smile played on her lips. She turned. “Hey.” Her blue eyes sparkled at him. Then she faced the front again.

“Hey yourself. How are you doing?”

For a minute she didn’t answer, then she shrugged. “You mean, am I still mad at you for getting after me about the land?”

“Uh, yeah, partly that. And just in general. I think about you. How are you doing?”

“No, I’m not still mad, but I want you to cut it out.”

“Done.”

“What?” She turned to look at him. “Just like that?”

“Yeah. What right do I have, really? To tell you the truth, it’s coming from a very honest place. I just react without thinking, and it’s strong and loud, and I’m sorry.”

She studied him for a moment, and her eyes shone with sadness. “I respect that. I know you just really love the place.”

“It’s more than that.” He kind of wished he hadn’t said that. Did he want to tell her that he thought he was losing her as well as the land? But there was no going back now.

She waited.

“I don’t want things to change. I…I like riding out across our property knowing you’re right there on the other side of the fence.” He paused, tense, waiting.

She turned off the engine and turned most of the way around to face him. “Just what are you saying, Decker Dawson?” The flash of gold in her blue eyes shone brighter than usual. The combination of hope and strength and even wariness emboldened and melted his heart just enough. He smiled.

“I don’t want to lose you, plain and simple. This whole thing made me realize I love the land, sure. I love being a Dawson, of course. But what I really don’t want to lose? You.” He watched her, waiting for embarrassment or discomfort to cross her face. But instead, a tenderness that he’d never seen before filled her expression, and she smiled back. The light that shone around her, through her, even in her, stunned him for a second. He laughed at the joy of it and reached for her hand. “You gonna say something?”

Her grin widened. “I don’t know what to say.”

He tugged her ponytail out, and she didn’t complain like she would have ten years ago. With her hair down all around her, he ran a hand through the blond silk. “Well, you’re happy about it. I guess that’s a good sign.” He loved the feel of her hair.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “I’m happy about it.” She twisted so she had one leg up between them and now fully faced him on the seat. “I’m so happy if what you’re saying is you’d like to be with me more.”

“If you’ll let me.” He tugged at her hand. “If I stop getting angry about selling the land?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you. I feel it too, you know. I don’t want to let the land go.” Her lips quivered, and he pulled her close, twisting so he could hold her on his lap and hug her in his arms. “I’m sorry. I hate to see you having to bear so much.”

When he knew tears were really coming, it tore at him in ways he wasn’t expecting. With hands running down her back, he murmured, “I’m really sorry. Forget I said a single thing.”

She sniffed, her face in his chest. “When I’m out here like I always am, I just don’t think I can sell.” She lifted her head to look at him. “But then I sit at home with the bills and think about Grandpa and the care he needs, and I don’t know how Icannotsell.” Her lashes lifted, and the pain he saw in her face really amped everything up for him. “I don’t have enough,” she admitted, and he wondered at the difficulty in admitting something like that. “I might not have a choice.”

The pain of her admission hurt him too. The Haws. Her grandpa. What would he want Decker to do here? Help his granddaughter, certainly. He decided, no matter what, he would help Faith. He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Faithy Haws, I’m gonna do whatever I can to help you.”

She leaned into his kiss, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough. If she lifted her chin to stare up into his face again, he wouldn’t resist her lips any longer.

But she didn’t. And he was glad, because they had to do things right and adjust their relationship slowly to something new. He was going to do this carefully. But it took all of his upbringing and a heavy dose of thoughts of Mama Dawson to help him remember that, because she was close and crying and so, so irresistible.

Chapter Nine

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