Page 55 of Tex's Angel

“You know that they did,” I say as I pop the top on my beer.

Rigs takes a long draw of his beer. “Those tight asses don’t deserve you anyway. I can’t believe they’d fire you after all our club did for them. If it wasn’t for us, Pope would still be in charge of the town.”

“Ungrateful fuckers,” Siege mutters.

“It’s a new guard in there. Pretty much all the officers from Pope’s time were fired or demoted, so I’m guessing the ones there now, don’t think they owe us shit,” I say.

Siege nods in understanding, “Anyway you cut it, you still have your job managing our security firm.”

“That’s part time, Prez. I’m gonna have to look for a full time job to make ends meet.”

“Smoke told me about your insurance payout, at least you have that as a cushion. Why do you always act poor when you’re not?”

My head snaps up to glare at Rigs. “My insurance payout is none of your damn business.”

Rigs takes another swig of his beer and replies casually, “I never said it was my business. I’m just curious. Can’t a brother be curious without you jumping down his throat?”

I run one hand through my hair, exasperated that he’s right. “Look, once Levi was born both me and my wife took out life insurance policies to make sure that if anything happened, the other wouldn’t have to worry financially. If I’m honest, I thought what with me being a cop then she’d be cashing in my policy. I didn’t expect it to be the other way round.”

Rigs points at me with the top of his beer bottle. “She died of cancer, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did. I’m saving that money to put my too smart for his own damn good son through college, pay for his wedding, and buy him his first house.”

Rigs chuckles, “And wait for him to have kids, so you can put them through college and buy them fancy houses too, right?”

Suddenly, I was feeling less angry, cause this brother of mine was not wrong. “Alright, I know it’s a lot of money. I’m not stupid. I just feel bad spending any of it.”

“But she gave it to you, right?” Siege asks.

Rigs nudges him with his elbow. “Bequeathed it. Same thing but not quite.”

Siege jerks his chin at his longtime friend. “She bequeathed it to you because she wanted to make yours and Levi’s life easier, right?”

“I suppose,” I have to admit they’re onto something.

“Think of it this way. I’m sure your wife bought you gifts for your birthday and Christmas. You probably kept and used them. How’s this gift any different.”

“When your old lady dies and you land on a pile of insurance money, let’s see how quick y’all are to start spending.”

Rigs’ face turns furious, but I don’t let him off the hook so easily. “No, you brought this issue of money up and you’re gonna fucking listen to me. What if I took twenty bucks out of it and bought myself an ice cream cone? How am I gonna sit there and enjoy that ice cream knowing the only reason I’m getting that treat is because my wife died left me the money to buy it with? Now, multiply that by every damn thing I need in life. I can’t live with that kind of guilt, so I don’t touch the money. It’s easier that way.”

Rigs just shakes his head. “Damn dude, have you ever thought about getting some therapy?”

“I did. This is what years of therapy looks like on a widower like me.”

“Shit brother, you need some more,” he grumbles before taking another mouthful of beer.

Siege shoots Rigs a dark look. “For a trained grief counselor you’re being a bit hard on a man who’s having a bad day. He don’t need tough love right now.”

I down the rest of my beer and hold the bottle up for Nick to bring me another one. “Shit, I’m okay, Siege. Rigs ain’t tellin’ me nothing I ain’t told myself a million times already. I need to work to keep my mind off things and I can’t make myself spend any of insurance money.”

“You’ve worked yourself between a rock and a hard place, that’s for damn sure.”

Looking at my club president, I tell him, “Don’t I know it, Prez. At the end of the day, I have to do what I think is right for my family. I have to make decisions I can live with, and I’ve decided that I don’t want to benefit in any way from my wife’s death. It just feels wrong.”

Siege thumps me on the back with his hand. “You’re a good man, Tex. Solid gold. They don’t make ‘em like you anymore.”

“Aw shit man, y’all gonna make me cry,” I joke to my club president. But I’m not entirely joking, what he said really hit home. I feel good knowing that my brothers think I’m a good man.

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