Page 57 of The Passion

I shouldn’t have asked because I am just giving him ammunition to continue to degrade me in a room where I’m not there to defend myself. But my guess is these underhanded tactics are going to get more frequent as we get closer to my birthday that is now nine weeks away.

Rather than say anything else that is going to make this phone call worse, I just cut him off.

“Good night.” Disconnecting this call was all I could do before I became unhinged and started raving like the idiot he is telling everyone I am.

“Wow, just wow. I’ve never heard you speak to him like that. I thought we were supposed to be avoiding any trouble with him.” Harper starts giggling as she takes another sip of her drink. “But you go, girl.” She lifts her glass in the air toward me.

“Ughhh, I’ve had enough of doing as I’m told and keeping quiet. Tonight has been a shit storm, and it’s only about to get worse when I have to tell Flynn about Fulton. No matter how much it seemed like a good idea ten minutes ago, now I know it’s just plain stupid. I’m leading on a man I don’t want to be with, and the man I can’t stand to be without is going to be irate. How the hell am I going to fix this?”

“Okay, let’s think about this and make a plan.” Harper sits forward on the couch and tries to concentrate, and I’m sure it’s difficult when she’s in the middle of a great alcohol buzz.

Before I could answer or even think, my phone is ringing again, and now the excitement I had earlier has turned to that yucky anxious feeling you get in the bottom of your stomach when you have done something crazy and you don’t know how to fix it.

Not answering is not even option, and part of me needs to hear his voice to try to soothe my mind and the unsettled feeling I have.

“Hey.” I answer with one word because I’m not sure what to say without making the third problem of the night with my actions.

"Hi. Sorry I'm so late, it’s been a long day, but I'm almost there.” He sounds exhausted, and I know I’m not going to say a word tonight about the message from Fulton. That can be tomorrow’s problem.

“You are preaching to the choir,” I answer quietly, and I’m not sure if I meant for it to be an inside thought or to actually say it to Flynn.

“You okay, sweetheart?” I should have been the one asking him that after he admitted he’s had a bad day. But instead, he has switched off his own problems straight away because he detects the unsteadiness in my voice.

“I will be once you’re here.” And I know that’s the truth. I don’t know what I would do without him now.

Maybe Harper was right with what she said earlier.

Life is changing, and as much as I will always love her and we will be extremely close, things aren’t going to be the same anymore. She used to be my everything, the person I confided in, leaned on when I needed it. That won’t change, but it’s just that there are two of them, each giving me something different.

Harper makes me laugh, and we have shared all the good and bad times together.

But now there is Flynn.

And I already know where my heart will go when I need it put back together.

Unless he is the one who shatters it, and I’m not sure I would survive that no matter how much Harper is there for me.

My head hurts just thinking about it.

FLYNN

I can hear worry in Felisha’s voice, and that makes me put my foot down a little harder on the gas pedal.

This week has been hell being away from her. Facetime just doesn’t cut it.

Both being caught up in work until the late night hours and needing sleep, there have been short video chats, and it’s not thelength of the call that’s the problem for me. It’s that I can’t touch her.

But I know I have to tread carefully with overstepping the line she has drawn me. There is a fine line between being protective and dominant which is my natural personality and being too overpowering, which is also my natural personality. So, as Tori told me today, I have to put my stern face from this week aside and instead keep concentrating on being soft and caring. Which didn’t go down well with me. I don’t need her to tell me how to handle Felisha, and for the first time, my reaction to Tori had her backing off and understanding this is actually something she needs to stay out of. She might have found a place in my life like my new adopted sister, but this is not the time to be pushy. Plus, I told her the first day back from her honeymoon was not the day to push my buttons. Not that she knows what has been going on while they were away.

Forrest and I have been looking into the structure of the Kentwall Estates and have records of who all the investors are. It might be privately owned, but over the years, there have been investors who bought a small share.

Felisha’s father Ewan owns the majority share and therefore has the controlling vote. Felisha has the second highest share, and once she inherits her father’s stakes, she then has the control. But what we found was enlightening in that if we can buy out all the other stakeholders and Felisha either took possession of that share or voted with the person who owned it all, which would be me, then she could remove her father from the board and take the chairman’s position, even without the clause about her fortieth birthday. Although her father would still have ownership, he would have no power.

It's complicated and would take a hell of a lot of non-disclosure agreements with the people we are negotiating with to buy their share. Plus, we would have to offer above the marketprice for their share to even get them to the table to discuss it. All of this without Ewan or Felisha getting wind of what we are up to. There are a hell of a lot of miracles that need to happen to make this work, and sadly we need everyone to agree, otherwise it’ll all have been for nothing. And all the time we have been working on this, my chest has been tight knowing that I’m going to hurt the woman who has captured my heart if she finds out that I’ve been going behind her back.

I think Forrest has asked me multiple times each day since we started, do I want to change my mind and tell Felisha, but my answer is the same every time. When the time is right, I’ll tell her everything.

Hanging up the call with her, I promise that I will be there as soon as I can, and whatever is bothering her, she won’t have the energy to think about it once I’m through with her. Her night is going to be consumed by the two of us, skin to skin, no talking and just being in the moment.

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