Page 42 of The Passion

Just when I thought the economy seats were bad on the international flight from France, I was on the budget domestic flight from hell. Screaming babies around me, a toddler behind me that was constantly kicking my seat, and some guy next to me who wanted to start some conversation about how much he is looking forward to his holiday to see his boyfriend. That’s fantastic, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone or share my life story. I wished I had a book or something to make it look like I was busy, but my iPad was out of charge. I didn’t want to take my phone off airplane mode, which I’d turned on the moment we decided I was leaving the country. I don’t want to give anyone the ability to track me, and as far as my father knows, Harper and I took the private jet back to St. Tropez and are spending a few days switching off in my villa.

All I can pray is that this plan works, and it gives me the time I need to process everything, regroup, and work out my way of moving forward.

As much as I didn’t think I would sleep, the exhaustion finally claimed me, and I slipped into the blackness of my numbness and shut off my thoughts, if only for a few hours.

The moment I arrived at the resort, I felt like a robot just going through the motions. Finding Flynn, I let the words I hadbeen carrying so close to my chest finally fall, along with my tears. And just like I imagined since the moment I stepped onto the plane in London to fly to Paris for the connecting flight, my protector took control, and I no longer needed to think.

I’m not sure his friends were as happy to see me, by the looks as sharp as daggers that they threw across the room at me, and I feel awful that it is the day of the wedding. But I couldn’t wait. The honest truth is there is no way I could function without Flynn, and that scares the hell out of me more than this whole scenario.

Because never in my life have I had to rely on anyone.

Until now… and of all people, it’s Flynn.

I stand in the hot shower, trying to wash off the disgusting filth that I feel all over me, and not just from the plane, and it gives me the space I needed to let go.

My hands on the wall of the shower, the drops of water are like hard needles hitting my back, and the tears that I didn’t even think I had enough of left are pouring out. The moment Flynn put his hands on my shoulders and asked me if I was ready to fight, I knew I was, but I have to find some strength first. I know I can do it, and by the time I land back on English soil, I’ll be ready to start slaying dragons, but now, I need to do the hardest part.

After the shower, I sit curled up in his lap. I just want to close my eyes and sleep, but I can’t. He deserves answers, and I want to give them, no matter how difficult this will be.

He is here pushing me to say the words that are trapped inside.

Sharing everything with Flynn that I have carried for such a long time is going to hurt. The only person who knows it all is Harper, and we hold each other up, but she can’t be the only one to help me this time. I need more than her.

And that is probably the hardest thing to admit to him, but I can’t stop the words from escaping me.

“I need you. Okay! I fucking need you.” I yell at him because I’m so annoyed and frustrated that I can’t do this on my own.

“Yes, you fucking do!” His reply is one of pure satisfaction that he has pushed me past the last barrier I had built up to keep him away.

I know it, and he knows it too.

There’ll be no going back from here. The moment his lips land on mine, I’m done.

For all the times I’ve thought about how much I want him, I now know it’s more than that. It’s a need I can’t ignore. My body has been yearning to be so close to his again.

No matter who I have been with, nothing compares to the way my whole nervous system has just ignited.

I’m struggling to breathe as he pulls away. I wasn’t ready for it to end, but he isn’t going to let me continue without getting more from me.

God damn this man. His dominance might be sexy as fuck, but I wish I didn’t fall so easily for it all the time.

I already feel weak and stupid, and now that I tell him that, already he is changing the narrative and showing me the strength in what I’ve done to get here. How can he be so prepared to be my champion when he doesn’t really know me? And then the penny drops in my head.

Just as I feel so safe with him and I can’t explain it, he feels the same about me. The connection isn’t a normal thing for either of us, but I need to open up and just accept it is what it is.

Flynn is my one, and I can’t change that.

So, it’s time to let him in.

“Now start talking, woman,” Flynn demands but in the softest way. I need force to make me do anything in my life, so he is using that knowledge against me but also running his handsover me to show me how much he cares and wants to take the weight of the burden I’m carrying.

“Shit, I can’t use my phone, and I need to let Harper know I made it safely.” I try to sit up a bit straighter to look for a landline phone.

“Already done. I messaged her when you took a shower. She said to tell you all is fine so far and that she loves you. You can use my phone anytime you want to talk to her. Tomorrow I’ll make sure you have a burner phone to use until you get home.” He is so on top of this, and I want to be annoyed at how bossy he is being, but it actually feels nice tonight.

“Thank you. I know I’m a lot to handle.” I relax back into his body again.

“Oh, that’s the understatement of the century, but do you hear me complaining?” I roll my eyes at him because we both know it won’t be long before he does.

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