Page 112 of The Passion

Felisha just nods and takes the first mouthful to her lips. The moan she lets out without control has my cock reacting.

Down, boy, there is no way in hell you are getting a workout today.

Just watching her devour her food makes me smile. Food is one of my love languages, but I never expected it to be so fulfilling cooking simple meals for Felisha. Being a chef, I have made the most lavish feasts, but the pure enjoyment I get with preparing a quick nourishing breakfast that I know will fuel her body and mind for the day far outweighs anything else I cook.

Felisha putting her cutlery on her plate and wiping her mouth with the napkin means we can’t put this off any longer.

“Do you want to talk here or move to the couch?” I ask as she gets off her stool and carries her plate to the dishwasher. “I can do that.”

“Here is fine, and I just wanted a bottle of water as well. Do you want one?” It’s almost like two strangers talking to each other.

As she opens the fridge, I had forgotten what it was full of.

“Flynn.” She gasps and then turns to me, pushing the door back further, waving her hands at what’s in front of her. “You’re crazy.”

“Well, that was an established fact long before I met you.” I look at her and the ten containers of strawberries behind her from Turnips and the biggest container of chocolate sauce that I convinced them to put separate for me so it wouldn’t make the strawberries soft.

I shrug. “I didn’t know how mad you would be and thought you might throw the first few containers of peace offerings at me, so I needed a backup plan. Because that’s what I do. I didn’t understand it until yesterday, but that’s what I’ve done for a long time. I’m Nic’s backup plan in the business, and I want to be your backup plan in life too.”

Standing and walking around to her, I take her hand and bring her back to the stool, dragging it between my legs so we are looking at each other. This is not how I intended this to start. I was going to give her the first opportunity, but things never seem to go to plan for us, so maybe this is actually the right way forward.

“I’m not perfect, I never proclaimed to be, but you knew that. I’m also not good at letting people in behind my walls. I was so focused on getting you to drop your armor, but in the meantime, you snuck in behind mine. Feelings aren’t easy for me to express. I’m an action person, if you know what I mean, but that’s how I am in life. I didn’t want to try to tell you what to do or get in the way of what you were trying to achieve, but I had to do something. So, I decided to work in the background on a backup plan. If you didn’t need it, then it wouldn’t matter, and I would have just signed everything over to you anyway. Like a security blanket going forward, you would never have to worry about anyone else in the future threatening you.”

I can’t stop now, barely taking a breath so she can’t cut me off. I need to get this all off my chest before she tells me she’s leaving because I’m not good enough for her. She’s right, and I feel like I have always been one step behind in life, never living up to my family’s expectations, but with Felisha I really tried.

“The ownership of your company is back where it belongs… with you, and on your fortieth birthday, it will all be officially yours, with no black secrets hanging over your head.”

“How do I know your hand wasn’t forced with my father finding out about you?” I can see the hesitation in her eyes, asking a question she is not sure she wants to hear the answer to.

“Do you truly believe that, baby?” I want her to jump up and say no with confidence, but instead, she doesn’t say anything. I take her face in my hand because I need to touch her, and I think she needs to feel me too, to ground us and remind us who we are together.

“I don’t want your business or your money. I have my own job that I love and plenty of money. All I need is you and your love. That’s all I ever asked from you, was to give me your heart. I promised I would protect it, and I tried to do that without hurting you, but I failed. But I would do it again, because I will always protect you and be your backup plan. You don’t need me to guide you in your life, but you need me there for if you fall. I will always catch you, I promise you that. Sometimes it might hurt, but the safe landing will be worth it.”

Small tears start to escape her eyes, and as they run down her cheeks, I catch them in my hands.

“Please don’t cry, you know I can’t handle seeing you cry.”

“You should have just told me so I wasn’t blindsided by it. I wanted to believe it wasn’t you, but the moment you walked into that room, my world felt like it was falling apart.” She is whispering, which is different to the screaming I imagined she would be doing.

“I know, and I’m stupid. Everyone told me that along the way, but I didn’t want to promise you the world and then let you down.” And that is my deep-seated issue of not feeling good enough that keeps raising its head.

“Flynn, I don’t need you to be my backup plan. I need you to stand beside me. Neither of us in front of each other but together as equals. So, if we fall, then we hit the ground at the same time and then get up and fight, like you taught me from the beginning.”

And there it is, the gift she has given me without knowing how much it means to me. The validation that I am enough for her.

“I will stand beside you until our dying days.”

“You just want to hope that’s when you are in your nineties, and I haven’t killed you before then.” For the first time, I see her lips moving upward to a small smile.

“Absolutely no guarantees of that, but I will try my hardest not to piss you off too much.” And just because I can’t help myself, I add, “Although, I have heard make-up sex can be awesome.” I raise my eyebrows at her.

“Oh my God, what am I going to do with you?” The twinkle is there in her big brown eyes, and I know we are going to make it through this.

“Love me, flaws and all.”

“Our love is imperfect, and to me, that is just perfect.”

Felisha lunges forward and kisses my lips with an intensity I wasn’t expecting, almost knocking me off the stool with her body. She wraps her arms around my neck, and our lips are ferocious, like the release of all the angst and turmoil of the last twenty-four hours is coming out in the kiss.

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