Page 161 of Giddy Up, Daddy

“But in doing that we have been circling and not getting our needs met.”

“Yes, I realize that now. Last summer was–”

“Amazing?”

“Don’t interrupt me. As much as I wanted to spend time with you, watching you drink yourself stupid bothered me.”

Scowling, I crossed my arms across my chest. He was correct. I consumed more alcohol in the span of a few weeks last summer then I’d ever drank before. I’d been longing for connection, stability, and security. None of those things I’d been able to fashion for myself. No. I’d been walking around with a gaping hole, filling it with margaritas instead. Alden had spent a lot of time picking my drunk ass up from the bar. He’d been patient. Bringing me home and taking care of me. More than once I’d shown up at his ranch begging and settling for crumbs. No, that wasn’t entirely true because he had no idea that I wanted the whole cake. I’d never hinted at more since I hadn’t been able to voice my issues. Not to him. It was something Wyatt and I had in common. Strangely enough, I’d confided in Wyatt. We spent hours in random meadows on oversized picnic blankets laying on our backs, staring at the sky. Every shooting star became a wish we hoped would come true. My closeness with Wyatt washow I knew he had a lot of his own issues with intimacy and relationships. And though I loved him in many of the same ways I loved Alden, coming out of a bad marriage, I needed something different. I had enough of my own baggage. I couldn’t shoulder Wyatt’s as well, and I couldn’t put all of our issues on Alden. It wouldn’t be fair.

“If you’re with Wyatt you don’t have room for me in your life,” I said as if that would explain some of the crap in my head. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t.

“Don’t start throwing excuses and reasons for not being together before we’re official.”

I sighed. Alden was making it really hard not to give in to what we both wanted deep down, but I knew I had to be strong. The three of us were great as friends. In a relationship, though? I was too afraid of what might happen. “I’m prioritizing my happiness. I’ll never be placed on the back burner again for anyone.”

“I’m adept at balancing. No matter what the two of you toss at me. I can handle it. I’ll prioritize both of you.”

Staring at him for longer than appropriate, I shoved the blankets off and crawled into his lap. He allowed me the moment, settling me on his thighs.

“I want to believe you, Alden. Do you honestly think the three of us are compatible enough to be in a relationship?”

“Yes, babygirl. I do.”

Fuck.

My heart drummed heavily against my chest from the sweet pet name. He was serious about us. Well, what did I have to lose?

Your heart. Your independence. Your friendship with Alden and Wyatt in one swoop.Wyatt could throw our relationship away with one reckless decision. I wasn’t perfect but I typically thought through my actions most of the time.

Alden was looking at me like he could see right through me, past the words on my lips, into the desires of my heart. It made me feel like I couldn’t breathe, and like I needed to run, to deflect, to do what I always did when backed up against a wall. I changed the conversation back to what was comfortable. Being a brat.

“I won’t bow down and kiss your boots, Alden.”

“You will if I tell you to polish them first,” he said softly. There was a sadness in his voice and on his face, like he knew exactly what I was doing. He let me do it anyway, then gently brought the conversation back around. “But I’m not really into ordering my partners about without reason. You could use a Daddy. I’d be honored if you let me step into that role for you.”

I brushed his hair back from his face, gazing into the perfect blue irises. Dominance oozed from his pores but I’d never delved deeply into the topic of dynamics. And if I was going to entertain the idea of a throuple with him and Wyatt, even for a second, I should at least make sure I had all the information. At least that’s what I was telling myself.

“I’m open to the idea of having a Daddy. Is there discipline involved?”

“Yes, I believe you’d benefit from my brand of it.”

“You mean spanking.” It wasn’t a question.

Alden nodded. “Yes, but that’s only part of it. I don’t always respond with physical correction. Unless it’s something serious like leaving the latch unlocked.”

I squirmed against the cushions remembering our exchange yesterday. Alden hadn’t brought up physical punishment. I’d almost challenged him to correct me that way. So, why had I asked him about his strap? It was not something I wanted to experience. Or was it? “So, you’re going to punish me for not double-checking?”

“I won’t punish you for something that happened prior to you following my rules. However, we will talk about it the next time you practice. Now, tell me something. When’s the last time you were spanked?”

“I don’t remember,” I lied. In our group of friends it was something that was discussed as easily as music and movie choices. I didn’t want to share what happened because I was embarrassed. Alden wasn’t born yesterday though, he saw through my feigned attempt to dodge the question.

“Who spanked you?”

“Logan.”

“Oh! There’s a story there. Come on, darlin’. Tell me.”

“We were all hanging out at Jesse’s. Logan had crafted a new style of paddle recently that he was showing off. It started as fun and games.”

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