I think for a moment, then shake my head. I guess there are a lot of things I never asked, because I knew we were doomed from the start.
“Well mine is Harris, and Nate’s is Bowery, but it should have been Allistair.”
I frown, remembering that they’d mentioned meeting in the system, being foster brothers.
“He’s Governor Allistair’s bastard son.”
I suck in a breath because Governor Allistair isn’t from some redneck state I’ve never heard of. He’s the governor of New York. I squint my eyes and peer at Nate. I see it. The resemblance is very much there. “Okay, why are you telling me this?”
“Because if one or two things had been different in my life, we could have had a very similar upbringing.”
He’s right, but I don’t see how it matters. I’m not strong enough to walk away, to put myself first. It’s the opposite of what I’ve ever been expected to do, and old habits die screaming.
Nate steps beside Bo. He laces my fingers through his. Then he shrugs. “You’re right. There’s no reason to tell you. It doesn’t matter. At all. My past has nothing to do with the man I am today or the one I become. I’m so much more than the way I was raised, which in case you were wondering was by a cracked-out mother who put her heartbreak up her nose on a daily basis. But the point is, Elle, we all have things to overcome.” He offers a sad smile. “Personally, I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”
My expression mirrors his. “That’s sweet but…” I sigh. “I want to be the person that just walks away and goes after what I want with no care for money or anything or anyone else, but I don’t think I can be that person.” I shake my head, my voice cracking. “I don’t think I can live the struggle life. I know it sounds shallow, and I hate myself for it, but it is what it is.”
Nate
Her words are saying no, but her tone is begging us to convince her to stay, to reassure her that it will all work out.
I look at Bo, another silent conversation. There’s a part of me, the cynical part, saying that this shouldn’t be so hard. The other part is saying to push to get past this obstacle and I’ll have everything I ever wanted. I can see on Bo’s face what he’s thinking. He won’t forgive himself if we don’t make every effort, put everything out there, do our level best to prove to Elle she’s the one we want, and we can be the ones she needs.
I take a deep breath, preparing to tell her the one thing I’ve never told anyone but Bo. “We don’t struggle.” I wave my hand around, gesturing up toward the land that our ranch sits on. “We work hard, and we spend carefully, and we may not live like the upper-class elite, but…” I shrug. “We could.”
“What?” Elle makes a face of pure confusion.
I smile. “Turns out there’s a perk to being a bastard son. Hush money. My mom collected it every month, and for all her faults, she never spent a dime. It sat in an untouchable trust until I turned twenty-five. I didn’t even know about it until then.”
Her mouth falls open and works like a fish again.
“It’s quite sizeable,” Bo confirms with a nod. “We own this place outright. We don’t have to worry that one bad year can ruin us, unlike most farmers and ranchers around here. We just do what we love.”
She’s about to walk away, I can feel it, but I can also feel that she’s fighting something deep within her. I recall Sadie’s advice to us last week at the diner. Stability. Independence. Princess.
It feels like a tall order, and one full of things that are in direct opposition with each other. But… I take a gamble. I step forward, and brush her hair behind her ear, then cup her cheek with the palm of my hand.
“You are incredible, and the fact that you don’t see it makes you even more so. You say you can’t walk away, but you already did. You left so much behind, and you came here to start over. There had to be a reason for that.”
She lowers her gaze and seems to curl into my touch. A good sign. I keep going.
“You came here and you found us, your Daddies. That’s what we want to be anyway, and I think it’s what you want too.”
I brush the pad of my thumb over her soft lips. “Let your Daddies take care of you. You don’t need your trust. You have so much more to offer.”
“I don’t see it,” she whispers, the weight of her admission heavy in her tone. Her sadness breaks my heart.
“We see it, babygirl. We have from the first second we met you. We’re meant to be your Daddies, and if you’ll let us, we’ll hold you up, lift you up until you can see what we see.”
“I want to,” she whispers. “I want to so badly. There’s just…”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a movement, and jerk my head to see Bo drop to one knee in front of her. He grabs her hand.
Well, shit. That’s what we planned. But I trust him, so I do the same.
Elle gasps, but her eyes are sparkling with hope. It spurs me forward and I realize Bo was right, as usual.
“Eleanor Cordelia Winston,” he says, his eyes welling with tears as his voice starts to crack, “we love you for you. For who you were, the little girl weighed down by expectations of a life she didn’t choose. We love you for who you are, a brave smartwoman who set out on an adventure to find herself, and we love you for whoever you’re going to become. We can’t wait to see it.”