Page 206 of Giddy Up, Daddy

“No, just you and Reese. Well, I just assume she’s a Little? Since she was calling someone her Daddy?”

“She is a Little, but you don't have to be Little to have a Daddy.”

Closing my eyes, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear the cobwebs. “I thought I knew a lot about the lifestyle, and then I got here and I feel like I know nothing.”

“Kink is customizable. So you really will never stop learning, because everyone does things their own way. All you have to do is keep an open mind.” Wren wrapped her arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “Don’t get discouraged. Whydon’t you come have breakfast with me and some friends in the morning?”

“In the Littles’ Wing? I don’t think I want to go to the Littles’ Wing,” I lied. I wanted to so, so bad, but I couldn’t go down that rabbit hole. The realization that I wanted more with Cade was enough for me to deal with for a while. If I went to the Littles’ Wing, I was scared I’d never want to come out again.

“No, in the cafeteria. I mean, it’s where a lot of the Littles eat, but it's not exclusive to Littles.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “That sounds okay,” I said again to reassure myself. “What time should I meet you?”

“How about eight? I’ll meet you outside the door because it can be a little overwhelming sometimes.”

“I feel like I’m perpetually overwhelmed lately, sooo…” I held out the last word because I didn’t really think I needed to elaborate more than that.

Reese came back out and gave me the grand tour, all while Bossy P stayed perched on her shoulder. I’d met some quirky animals in my time in the rodeo circuit, but the animals at Rawhide Ranch definitely took the crowns for the quirkiest, and I loved them all. Forget never coming out of the Littles’ Wing; maybe I would just never leave the petting zoo.

“See, everyone is free to be whoever they want here. Look at Alfie, he swears he’s a horse. We have to let him out in the pasture with the horses every once in a while or else he gets ornery. But he also likes the pampering and treats he gets from the petting zoo visitors,” Wren explained as she stroked the neck of the white-and-brown alpaca.

“Do you not feel free to be who you want?” Reese turned to me and asked, instantly picking up what Wren was laying down.

I sighed and shook my head. “I didn’t really… well… I wasn’t sure it was okay to like, be a Little when you’re my age. I didn’t know a lot of things until I started talking to Wren, honestly.”

Reese furrowed her brows. “Yeah, I mean I’m still learning a lot, too. I didn’t know much about the lifestyle until I came here less than a year ago. But I’m curious why you think there's an age limit?”

“I don’t know! I guess I’ve never seen an ‘older’ Little. Like, usually you see the cute twenty-somethings all dressed in their cute outfits, so I just assumed, I guess. My husband was cool with it, but he’s gone, and no one else knew that side of me existed before today.”

“He’s gone?” Reese asked.

“Yeah, he died three years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you here alone, then?”

“Not physically, no. I’m here with his best friend. Wellourbest friend.”

“And they’re in love,” Wren sing-songed.

“Kiss the girl,” Bossy P squawked.

“You have to tell her man that, P! The girl wants to be kissed,” Wren told the silly bird.

It wasn’t a lie. I did very much want to be kissed, and if Cade was open to it, then I wanted to be kissed by him. Very specifically him. Badly. Kissed and… more.

“So you want him and he’s resistant? This sounds like an amazing job for Rawhide Magic.” Reese had a dreamy look on her face as she stared into space.

“Exactly!” Wren agreed.

“I didn’t even know I wanted him until we got here. Now the thought is like consuming me, but it's so much more complicated than that. We’ve been friends for so long, and I was married to his best friend, and we travel together, and I basically manage his entire life and career. A relationship would make things messy.”

“I mean, it could. But it sounds like you’re already in a relationship, just without any of the benefits,” Wren pushed.

“There’s benefits! He supports me, and I get to travel and see places I would never even know existed without him.” Just because I’d had all the same thoughts as my new friends were now voicing didn’t mean I wanted to hear them, and it just made me realize how frustrated I was with the entire situation. I also felt an odd need to defend what Cade and I had. It was special and low pressure, and adding ‘benefits’ could muddy that a lot. It could even ruin everything. If only he would just make a move! But he was way too ethical for that. And right now I kinda hated that about him. “I just don’t know if it's worth it to change things. It feels like such a huge risk. And they’re good the way they are.”

“But what if they could be great?” Reese asked.

I sighed and let my head fall backward. “Ugh.”

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