Page 196 of Giddy Up, Daddy

“Nunya.” I hugged my tablet to my chest and pulled away.

“Okay.” He took a step back and put his hands up in a placating manner, but the look on his face was confused. If he’d seen what I was doing, it could hurt his feelings, whether it was in his best interest or not. I needed to be more careful.

“I put the address to the Ranch in the GPS. We should get a move on if you want to get there before midnight.”

Cade raised a brow. “I’m going to eat, and Master Derek assured me it didn’t matter what time we got there. If you’re asleep, then we can just sleep in the bus tonight and check into our rooms in the morning.”

I wouldn’t be asleep. I had a very nervous energy flowing through me knowing what our next stop was. Rawhide Ranch, premier BDSM resort and sanctuary for lost Littles and submissives. My stomach tightened thinking about it.

It had been years since anyone had touched my body in any sort of dominating way. Cade was generous with comforting, friendly hugs and such, but I needed more. I craved more, and I was hoping beyond hope I could find someone to give it to me. It couldn’t be Cade, despite the fantasies I’d started to have about him in those moments right before I went to sleep at night. Nope. He was totally off limits. So, Rawhide Ranch was my only current hope to have those needs fulfilled.

Then there was the Littles’ component…

“Earth to Ripley.” Cade waved his hand in front of my face.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said, are you okay with that, or do you want me to wake you up?”

“Oh, uh… it doesn’t matter. I’m going to go get some work done. I need to log all the finances from this stay and bill the venue for your time.”

Cade sighed and shook his head. “You’re acting squirrely. Are you nervous about staying at Rawhide?”

Nervous? Yes, but for reasons Cade was not privy to, and I would not be sharing. Randy and Cade were both Doms, and we didn’t keep our BDSM lifestyle a secret from each other. Well, most of it. There was a tiny part Randy and I kept to ourselves. A tiny piece of me that was too embarrassing to share with anyone, even our closest friend. It was a side of me that had only come out every once in a while, even with Randy. But each time I had loved it more and more, and each time I’d gone deeper.

There was something so intimate, so right about regressing to a younger version of myself and just letting Daddy take care of me. I’d never felt so free, so content. I desperately wanted that feeling again. I missed it more than anything else, which I tried really hard not to feel guilty about. But I also didn’t see it ever happening again for me. As I got older, the craving to regress felt more and more ridiculous and embarrassing. It shouldn’t have been something I wanted or needed at this age, so it was probably better to stay away altogether.

Rawhide would give me the opportunity to engage in BDSM play again, and that would have to be enough. I would be steering clear of the Littles’ Wing altogether. It was better for everyone that way.

Chapter Two

Cade

Something was going on with Ripley, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I saw a million thoughts flitter through her mind as I waited for the answer to my very simple question.

She’d been daydreaming a lot, and as much as I wanted to know what had her so lost in thought, I wouldn’t pry. It wasn’t really my place to. I’d promised Randy I would look after her and make sure she was okay, but that didn’t include overstepping boundaries. Boundaries that had been firmly set into place years and years ago.

I couldn’t lie and say it was easy; it sucked. I was a Dom, and Ripley was a bona fide submissive. More than that, though, we shared a deep mutual love and respect for one another, and my natural inclination was to storm in and be everything she needed and craved. To fulfill her in ways I knew my best friend had done. But I couldn’t. Not without ruining everything we had going for us.

Life was good. I got to tour the states, doing what I loved with my best friend by my side. Plus, I had promised Randy I’d look after her for as long as I lived, and that didn’t include taking her for my own. No matter how badly I wanted to.

Very badly.

But I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about that.

“Do you want to go somewhere else? I know it’s been a few years since we lost Randy, but there’s no time limit on grief if you’re not ready to be around lifestyle stuff.”

“What?”

My follow-up question seemed to pull her out of whatever thought she’d been lost in.

“No, that’s not it. I mean…” She shook her head. “Of course I still miss him, but we both know what he would say if he was here.”

I nodded, because I knew exactly what he would say. He’d made us both promise over and over in the last few days leading up to his death that we would not stop living. That he knew we would grieve him, but he didn’t want us to stay stuck in that grief. So we’d done the counseling and the work, and we’d celebrated his life by continuing on the adventure we’d planned together.

“It’s just weird, you know?” she said. “He would have loved the opportunity to show off his whip skills at a place like Rawhide.”

“Yeah, we could have given them one hell of a show.”

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