Page 141 of Giddy Up, Daddy

He goes to the opposite side of the carriage and helps Nate down, then they both come around and help me down, holding my hands as we walk to the table. They pull out my chair for me, and then sit beside me. Bo pulls out three glasses and a bottle of wine, and I notice it's the same one Sadie used to get me to talk.

Nate pours us each a glass then wraps an arm around my shoulders. “So… first question: what flowers are you not allergic to?”

Bo

We’re making small talk, or more accurately, playing twenty questions, gathering the details we might need to woo her and hopefully without almost hospitalizing her this time, but what I really want to know is what happened last time and how not to make it happen again. I’m trying to figure out how to ask, when Elle takes a bite of fruit salad, leans back in her chair and looks up at the sky, then out and around at the river, trees and mountains in the distance.

“You guys are ridiculous, you know that?” She shakes her head and lets out a little laugh. “I can’t believe you showed up at my work in a horse-drawn carriage.” She pauses and frowns. “How did you even know I was working at the paper?”

“It’s a small town,” Nate explains. “Nothing stays secret for long.”

“I’d say I’m gonna kill Sadie, but how can I? That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“It wasn’t Sadie,” I’m quick to assure her.

She raises her eyebrows, then looks pensive. “I saw your ad. I thought you’d moved on.”

The ad. The one we placed only a few days after the date. She was already ignoring us by then, but that couldn’t have helped.

I swallow. Nate frowns. We share a look. This feels like a pivotal moment in the conversation and neither of us wants to mess it up. I’m the first one to speak.

“Quite the opposite, actually. We realized we made a mistake by pushing too much on you too soon, and thought if we went ahead and hired a nanny for Amelia, it would give us the time we needed to slow down and give you the attention you deserve. Show you that you meant more to us than just a potential wife and mother.”

“Oh.” Elle’s mouth drops open. “Well, you know what they say about making assumptions, I guess. I really flubbed up that one.”

“But is that why you left?” Nate asks. “Did we scare you off with too much too soon?”

Elle furrows her brow, cocks her head and frowns. Sha appears to be considering, then sighs. “Honestly… no. That wasn’t the problem. I may not know a darn thing about housekeeping, cooking and mothering, but well, I’ve been learning. Trying to improve myself. I’ve been reading books and taking some online cooking classes.”

“What?” I breathe, touched that she would do that. “That’s amazing.”

“I needed to find a version of myself I liked. I’m getting there. But, like I said, my experience or lack thereof wasn’t the problem.”

I don’t understand. I’ve been so sure we scared her off somehow. “Then what is the problem? What did we do wrong? Do we have any chance of making it better?” I grab her hand, stroking the soft skin with the pad of my thumb as I speak.

She reaches and lays her hand on my cheek. I choke up. I know this woman is for us. How do I make her see that?

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You guys handed me everything I wanted on a silver platter. Everything I didn’t know I wanted even. You opened my eyes to the possibility of a life I’d ever imagined. But my father…” She shrugs her shoulders. “It can’t work, no matter how badly I want it to.”

Another rejection. This one feels more final. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. If it has nothing to do with us, we can’t fix it. All hope is lost.

I’m still processing when Nate speaks. “What about your father? Can you explain?”

Her eyes well with tears, and she pulls her hand away to wipe at them. “I’m working through some things. But…” She sighs. “You two are amazing, and you deserve better than someone like me.”

Nate shakes his head and grabs her hand. “We want you. And what do you mean? You’re wonderful.”

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes and she’s crying for real now. She doesn’t explain, but instead leans forward to kiss first Nate and then me. She hiccups. “You’re wonderful. And this is amazing. Seriously, thank you for this. You’ve made me feel so special, and I really needed that. Could we just enjoy it, and not talk?” She smiles ruefully. “Is sex really off the table? Because that would be a damn shame.”

She’s talking about goodbye sex. I can see it in her eyes and my gut twists. My chest aches. I can’t deny her, but I can’t cheapen what I believe we could have either.

Nate’s the one who speaks. “Babygirl, you’re killing us here.”

“I’m sorry,” Elle whispers. “Maybe I should just go.”

My heart won’t handle her running off again, but my body can’t handle not making her mine one more time. Against all my judgement, I squeeze her hand, and bring my other hand up to caress her cheek. “Don’t go.”

Sex won’t solve a single one of our problems, but I don’t care. My mouth closes over hers, and I can taste the heartbreak in her kiss.

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