Page 100 of Giddy Up, Daddy

So when his phone rang before the sun had even begun to creep through the window, she expected him to take the call out of the room so she could go back to sleep. Instead she heard the rise of his voice as he barked a sharp, “What?”

It caught her attention, and she rolled over to make sure everything was okay. The look of stunned incredulity on his face concerned her.

“Nick, it’s five in the damn morning. This better not be a prank.” Sam’s voice was still rough from sleep.

Charlie could make out the low hiss and mumble of Nick’s voice on the other end of the phone, but couldn’t tell what he was saying. She sat up, pulling the blankets around her naked body as she watched Sam. She was hoping he’d see her interest and put the phone on speaker, but he wasn’t paying any attention to her. Whatever Nick was telling him had all his focus.

“Armoredcow? What do you mean armored? That’s … how is that even possible?” Sam’s eyes narrowed and his head tilted. “You’ve got to be kidding. What were you even doing out in the pastures at this time of—oh.” And then after a few more seconds, “Well, fuck.”

There was more talking. Sam would interject occasionally with a curse or some surprised sound, none of which helped fill in the pieces for Charlie. It was irritating.

He listened, shook his head, and laughed.

The laugh reassured her somewhat. Whatever had happened couldn’t be that bad if he was laughing, even if it was a strained unhappy sound.

“You can’t be serious… ugh. Fine. Yeah, I’ll get dressed and meet you at the barn. Not sure we’ll be able to handle it alone. Might have to wait until some of the hands get in, but… yeah, I know. Okay, I’ll be right there.”

Nick said something else, and this time Sam’s laugh had more humor to it. “Yippee-ki-yay, to you too, cowboy.” He hung up and turned to Charlie. “Guess what?”

“Just tell me, Sam!” She’d been quiet and patient throughout the whole phone call and now she wanted to know what had happened.

He dropped the phone on the nightstand and swung his legs off the bed, shaking his head. “Some fool cow stole a feeder and went running off with it.”

“The…what? You mean one of the big round bale feeders?”

“Yep.”

“But how? Those things are huge.” She couldn’t even picture it.

“They sure are. Nick said she got stuck inside somehow and just walked off with it. Problem is she left a trail of hay behind her so all the other cattle in that field just… followed her.”

Charlie snorted a laugh and tilted her head. “Sounds funny to me.”

“Oh, it is… or it would be, except for one thing…” He grabbed his jeans off the floor. “Stupid heifer charged the fence, and with the big metal feeder as a battering ram… guess who won?”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. “The… cow?”

“Yep. Knocked down the fence and then just walked out. That’s going to be fun getting back up in the cold.” He stood up, yanking his jeans into place.

Things like this were why Charlie was glad she didn’t actually work on the ranch much. “Ouch. Can’t it wait until the sun’s up though? I mean they aren’t going to go far, especially not in the dark.”

Sam let out a long-suffering sigh. “Well, she got as far as the barn… trailing a few dozen cattle, and a hundred yards or so of barbed wire and fence posts. Now they’re clustered outside the main doors making all kinds of rackets and upsetting the horses. It woke Nick and that’s how he knew what had happened. Otherwise they wouldn’t have found it until they made the rounds.”

That made sense. The foreman’s cabin was right behind the main barn. “Oh no…” She covered her mouth with both hands trying to hold back hysterical laughter as she pictured the scene.

He shot her a narrow-eyed look. “Gladyouthink this is funny, brat. It’s going to be hours undoing this mess. Not what I planned for today.” He grabbed his shirt off the floor and pulled it on over his head.

“Do you want some help? Sounds like you’re going to need it.” She didn’t especially want to make the offer. It was cold outside, and the bed was warm, but it sounded like an extra pair of hands would be necessary.

“Naw, we’ll work it out,” he said as he disappeared into the bathroom. But a few minutes later, he returned saying, “Actually, you know what? If I have to suffer, so do you. Get dressed. I’m not sure how long we’re going to be out there, so I’m going to make a pot of coffee for the thermos. We might need it.”

She couldn’t really complain, since she’d offered, but getting out of bed was hard. She muttered insulting things about cows as she struggled to find some warm work clothes. She was still searching for something warmer when he came back.

“Not dressed yet?” He smacked her ass to get her moving. “Hurry it up. Nick needs us down there ASAP.”

She yelped and narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t have a closet full of warm work clothes like you do,” she reminded him, as she dug through her clothes. “Aha! I knew I still had these.” A pair of red Long Johns were rolled up at the back of her sock drawer, and she pulled them out triumphantly.

“Smart idea. Wish I’d thought about that actually.” He did look slightly jealous as she shimmied into the long underwear and then pulled a pair of her looser jeans on over them.

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