Page 123 of The Oath We Give

Her silent tears turn to sobs, her hands frantically trying to wipe the tears away as her shoulders shake. Now that I’m sure her crying after sex wasn’t because of a traumatic flashback, I close the distance between the two of us.

I grab the mug of tea from her, setting it on the nightstand before gathering her into my arms. My back rests against the headboard, and I place her small body on my lap.

Whether she’s tired of fighting me or just physically exhausted from today, she slumps into me. Gives in, melts, and drops her head to my chest. I let her seek refuge here, in the shelter of my arms.

“And then Emmet, God, Emmet—” She chokes on the words, and my heart fucking shatters for her.

I hold the back of her head to my chest, the other running up and down her spine, soothing her. My lips press to the top of her head. All I want is to protect her from this, to shield her from this hurt, because no one else fucking had. No one looked out for her, and that both infuriates and breaks me.

“In 1997, Deep Blue became the first computer to defeat a world chess champion,” I say softly, hugging her tightly to my body. “Deep Blue traded its bishop and rook for Gary Kasparov’s queen after sacrificing a knight to gain position on the board.”

Coraline hiccups in my arms, listening intently as I continue.

“It’s my favorite match of all time because Kasparov had a chance. He was in a playable position, but he resigned, the first time in his career he conceded defeat. When he was asked about it, he said he’d lost his fighting spirit.”

I feel Coraline relax slightly against me, and I pause to press a gentle kiss to her temple, my voice the softest it’s ever been.

“There is no defeat when you refuse to lose. We can only be beaten when we give up on ourselves, Coraline.”

She turns her head, looking up at me, her chin sitting on my chest. “How do you know so much about chess games?”

“When I was young, I kept chess matches on a loop in my headphones. It calmed me down when I had too much to say but no space to speak.”

We sink into my steel-gray comforter, listening to each other’s breathing. It’s nice knowing that something that brought me comfort as a kid can do the same for her now.

For several moments, we sit just like that until she looses a breath and continues to talk, finishing her story with her long-term high school boyfriend Emmet, who committed suicide just after she’d broken up with him.

“Stephen was only confirmation, the only one of them that I actually wanted dead, and he got to live. He’d always been so adamant that it was my fault I ended up in his basement. That there was something in me that turned him into an obsessive monster, made him feel like he had to have me or he’d die.”

“That’s why he calls you Circe,” I breathe.

What was once a fucked-up joke Regina used to throw in her face turned into a very real thing for her. Coraline genuinely believed she was cursed. That she’d been jinxed to ruin the men and boys who chose to love her.

It’s why she’s so scared to let me in, because she’s terrified she’ll hurt me. Which in and of itself tells me all I need to know about Coraline. Something that she doesn’t even see in herself.

She is not cruel or unkind.

She’s willing to live her life alone if it means not hurting other people.

“If you value your life, I’d stop trying to make me fall for you,” she mumbles against my chest.

I chuckle, the foreign noise deep in the back of my throat, a rumble of unused sound.

Her eyes widen, sparkling with a little more light than she had earlier.

“You should laugh more, Silas. Why are you so intent on hiding it so much?”

“I made a promise to someone, one I swore to protect. An oath I’ve held on to for a very long time, Hex.”

“A promise not to speak?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Something like that.”

This prompts her to sit up, straightening her back and straddling my lap, both of her knees outside of my hips. My hands fall behind my head, and I feel the warmth between her thighs.

“Give it to me.”

“Give you what?” I arch an eyebrow, flicking my gaze to her naked lower half.

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