Page 147 of The Oath We Give

Coraline cries and I ache to be there to comfort her.

Rook will.

My mind echoes.

Rook will help her carry the weight of grief, so she isn't alone. The boys will lean on one another. They will force each other to move forward because it's what we do. We move forward.

"I--I love you." I strangle out, impossibly cold clinging to consciences but sleep is a song I can't block out. Its hands are strong and it's pulling me under.

Coraline is a blur. I can’t see her face, and I hope she hears those words and knows they were always meant for her.

"Silas. Don't, please.” Rook begs, but there is no one to beg.

God’s not here.

For the shadow and valley are mine.

I fear no evil.

“Promise m-m.."

My voice no longer works. It's left me for good this time.

“I promise, Si. I swear on the Styx, I’ve got her.”

"No! Rook don’t say that. Don't fucking say that. He’s okay, alright? Don’t say that! He’s okay. Baby, you're okay..."

Her voice is distance chant.

I don't think her witchy lips can cast a spell that'll stop this. Not when it feels so inevitable. Death is all encompassing. It's a blanket. A shield.

"You're okay. I love you. You're okay. I love you."

There are loud sounds, floating in space but darkness is a comfort. It comes for me as the cold leaves, and nothingness takes over.

I am air and all that is in-between.

I'm limitless.

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THIRTY-FIVE

COLD FEET

SILAS

Nothing hurts.

There is a numbness that has encompassed me like a jacket meant to protect me from pain. Bright lights blind me as I blink, eyes trying to adjust.

An eerie silence creeps in as I look down, tall grass comes up to my waist swaying against my body but there is no wind howling. Brilliantly colored flowers stretch out before me, endless in both length and color.

Wildflowers so bright they make my eyes hurt, but there are no bees humming.

I reach my hand down, unable to feel the blade of green weeds beneath my palm even though they wrap around my fingers. It was everything and nothing all at once.

The sensation of being alive but not really living was overwhelming. All the beauty around me was mocking, cruel even. It showed me life in all it's wonder, but left me trapped in an internal void of nothingness.

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