Page 52 of The Truths We Burn

Knowing that in the days to come, I will remember it.

I’ll think of the hurt, and my thighs will be slick with heat, because we remember the things that hurt us.

The number of grunts and moans pouring out of him is enough to keep me going through the ache. I gag and sputter around him, my throat tightening as I bring my hand up to rest on his abdomen. I can feel his stomach seizing, his vicious thrusts turning sloppy and out of control.

My other slippery hand cups his balls, eliciting a hiss from him as he sucks air in between his gnashing teeth.

“Fuck, baby.”

With my name on his lips, he shoves deep into the back of my mouth, pouring his release into my throat. I swallow greedily, sucking until he’s finished with me. I can feel his legs shaking slightly as he cradles the back of my head.

He pulls himself from me, allowing me to inhale deeply for the first time since this started. I rest my head against the door, my shoulders falling as I relax the muscles in my jaw.

I hear him lift the mask from his face, exposing those bright eyes, a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. He tosses it on the floor behind us, reaching down and scooping me up into his arms.

My body naturally winds around his, hugging him close to me while he pushes my back into the door, holding us there.

“Now when you leave, I want you to kiss Easton goodbye so he gets a nice taste of my come, then you’re going to go home and wait for me to sneak up so that I can eat, yeah?”

Chills rush down my spine, cool heat tingling between my legs.

“I missed you too,” I snicker, my voice raw and scratchy.

“I did miss you. It’s just…” he whispers softly. “Can I keep you?” And my soul breaks because of it.

I want him to keep me. Always. To stay here, right here in this disgusting rave house bathroom because it feels more safe, more right, than anywhere else I’ve ever been.

I didn’t believe there was a soft side to someone like Rook prior to getting to know him. I always thought he was just burnt edges and scorching insults. Until I saw the person he was before this place turned him into something evil.

He’s not evil.

He laughs and he smiles. He jokes and literally has a higher GPA than me. He hates the rain but loves the fog it leaves because it reminds him of smoke. He hates when I write on the inside of his cigarette packs, but I catch him smirking when he reads them.

He is a human who was hurt by the world. And all I want to do is be the reason he believes in it again. Even if I can’t do the same for myself.

Even if we don’t make it out together in the end, he needs to know that he deserves more than suffering.

He deserves happiness.

There’s still something he’s hiding from me, something in his past that makes him feel damned. I can feel it, that he still keeps pieces of himself in the shadows. It keeps him from fully giving in to me, but I don’t care.

And maybe that’s what’s so scary about all of this.

That I don’t care if I have his secrets.

I just want him. The him that makes me feel alive and real.

He pushes me to face life as I am and not as others want me to be.

When I’m with him, it’s like knowing every day that tomorrow the birds will sing.

My fingers wrap around the strands of hair at the base of his neck, playing with them softly.

“You can keep me, Rook.”

It’s in this moment I realize I would do anything for him. So much so that I’m going to tell him about the arrangement, see if he can help me so that Rose won’t be just as trapped. Anything he asks, I would do it.

I want him. I want to be with him and not just for another few weeks.

---