“Get some sleep, Little Thief.”
“What does this mean, you know, for us? I don’t want to be that girl who wants the label, but I just need to know what I mean to you.” Her lips move across my bare skin as she talks, distracting me for a moment.
I won’t lie to her and I hope at the end of this, she’ll be able to accept that.
“I don’t know what any of this means if I’m being honest, Briar. I’m not sure how to describe how when I’m around you my heart feels like it’s beating for the first time or you make me feel alive.” My eyebrows furrow as I continue, “I’m not sure how to take any of that, what that means for you, for me, for us.”
And that was the hardest part.
How was I supposed to know what love felt like when I’d never been shown it? When I’d never been taught how to receive or give it? My version of caring for others was beating up Rook when he needed to hurt, helping Thatcher skin a deer, and letting Silas shoot pop cans out of my hands.
That wasn’t enough for Briar, she deserved more.
“But I do know, I’m obsessed with the way you feel pressed against me. The way your lip curls when you’re angry makes me want to piss you off just so I can see it. I’m constantly angry when I hear other people make you laugh, it makes me want to hurt them, because for a moment they were making you happy and I want that job.”
She smiles against my skin as I continue.
“And right now, I could stay here for a lifetime just feeling your heartbeat rise. I’m not sure what I can give you, but whatever is left of me, whatever I have, it’s yours, for as long as you want it.”
And I meant it. Every word. Even though I wasn’t sure if I’d just made a huge mistake by laying out my cards so openly.
There is a beat of silence before I feel her lips against my skin in a gentle kiss,
“And if I want it forever?”
“Then it’s forever, Little Thief.”
“That sounds an awful lot like love, Alistair Caldwell.”
Pins poke my skin, like a full body numbness that overcomes me. The waves of peace settle into my shoulders and the euphoria that comes with being next to her sucks me in.
No killing. No history. No psycho brothers. Just me, a guy who would do anything to keep this girl next to him.
“It’s something.” I mumble, pressing my lips into the top of her head and inhaling deeply, filling my lungs with her scent.
“Then that’s all that matters. That’s all I need.” She whispers, “the rest is just fluff anyway,” I glance down at my initials adorning her finger, pissed I put it on the middle one and not the one directly to the left.
“Whatever you have to give, I want all of it. All the dark, all the scary. I want it. Forever.”
Just like that, the shadow child learned that you don’t have to step into the light to find happiness. You just need to find the person willing to step into the gray area.
“It’s yours. Every warped part of me. It’s yours, Little Thief. I hope you like playing in the shadows, we will be staying here for a while.”
Briar
Ittook till the week before Christmas for officers to finally identify the body that had been torched at the local party house. In that week, students and faculty had assembled together in the snow filled courtyard to create a memorial for Greg West.
As I walked past the balloons, pictures, we miss you cards and all the other memorabilia, I couldn’t make myself feel sorry for him. The man who lived alone and helped sell girls into sex slavery.
My fingers were wrapped tightly around two cups of coffee as I pushed the heavy door to the dining hall open with my shoulder, moving my way through the rows until I saw Lyra with her nose in a book, the seat in front of her empty for me.
“Wild first semester, huh?” I say, as I drop down into the chair, sliding the extra cup towards her.
“Passed my exams, witnessed murder, committed arson. I’d say it’s one for the books.” She looks up, thanking me for the coffee.
I wasn’t sure what the term was for bonding over chaos, but Lyra and I had made our loner society a forever kind of thing. After all the messes we muddled through this last semester, I couldn’t imagine going through the rest of my college days without her by my side.
“Did you see the cops on campus? I heard they were interviewing girls who were friends with Coraline. There have just been too many missing and dead bodies for them to not look into it.” She says, flipping the page in her book.