Page 110 of The Lies We Steal

But this is Alistair. He probably tattoos every girl he fucks just to see the conquest. To show he owns everything he touches.

It was my mistake for thinking a snake would ever change his stripes.

“It’s easier for you, isn’t it?” I say, “For me to hate you?”My eyes are stinging, but I am refusing to let a single tear fall for him. He doesn’t get those.

He scoffs, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to feel anything towards me. That would make it easier.”

“You’d rather me hate you, than open up. Than to explain why you’re such an asshole all the time! It’s why you won’t tell me about your family, isn’t it? They made you like this didn’t they?”

“I don’t tell you because it’s not your damn business. Stop trying to get more from me! I’m not going to sit here and tell you about how my mommy and daddy don’t love me while you pet my head. Leave it the fuck alone.”

“You’re just scared.” I counter, “You know that if you tell me, if you let me in,” I poke his chest with my finger, “I’ll understand why you did the things you’ve done. I won’t have a reason to hate you anymore, and for some reason you don’t want that.”

Pure, unbridled anger contorts his face, “Because you should hate me, Briar! I’m not a person you should like. I’m not someone you should be friends with,” He stalks towards me, eyes blazing into me as my body stumbles back at his sudden movement,

“I am not a good person. I hurt people. I enjoy hurting them, and guess what? I’m enjoying hurting you. I fucking love taking pleasure in hurting you, Little Thief.”

The words fire off into my chest like bullets. Cracking the shield I’d built over my heart.

I don’t move, still standing stiff as a board staring up at him with a blank look. Trying to search for the light inside of his eyes. Searching for something I think died a long time ago.

Something that may not even exist.

“What did they do to you?” I croak, shaking my head in disbelief.

That was it then. I was just a puppet he could play with, just someone to toy with and manipulate. I didn’t mean anything. It was all just a part of his fucking game.

“Hey, lover boy! You done? We need to head out.” Rook’s voice is a saving grace, giving me an excuse to get out of this conversation. Away from Alistair’s eyes.

Wrapping my arms around myself, ready to curl up in my dorm room with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, I started walking back up towards the noise of the carnival.

I shouldn’t hurt this much. I shouldn’t feel like this, I think as I pull my phone out of my pocket to shoot a text to Lyra.

Midway through typing the word, Where, a sweet smell filled my senses and I could feel the softness of cloth pressed into my nose.

Then, the world went black.

Alistair

Usually after I hurt people I have this rush of elation that floods my entire system. It takes away the hunger, it feeds the anger, just long enough that I can regain control over my life.

I get my fix for the day and I’m set until the next time I feel the need to destroy someone.

Right now all I was feeling was self-loathing. So much of it that every breath felt like I was inhaling gasoline. More fuel to the fire inside of my chest that was not going out any time soon.

My left hand wound tighter around the steering wheel, my foot punching the gas as my car tore across the asphalt. The gauge on my dash was trying to let me know this vehicle couldn’t go any faster, but even so I kept my foot to the floor.

Music busted through my speakers and I could see out of the corner of my eye, Rook, air drumming against the dash, slinging his head back and forth to the beat. I watched my headlights peer down the nearly empty two-way road, trees on either side as we approached our destination.

When you’re going that fast one slip of your wrist would send you rolling, the car would fly into the trees killing both of us almost instantly. But neither of us could be bothered. We focused on the dense sound of music, the drums that thundered and shook the glass of my windows.

I told myself the feeling would leave after tonight. I would wreak havoc, end a life and the annoying tugging inside of my chest would leave. Pressing on the break for the first time since leaving the carnival, I began to slow down just enough to not flip the car as I make a right.

Briar was a pawn in a large game of chess. A piece that had surprised me and had been fun to play with. I’d gotten what I wanted. I’d had her down on her knees with those pretty little eyes staring up at me, I had her twisted around my fist, I had my fingers deep in her cunt and watched as she found a high like never before with my name cursing her lips.

I had broken her.

Showed her that she is no better than I am.

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