Page 96 of Taking Chances

“A seizure? Can it happen again?”

“It can. But we have medicine for it, and I suggest Luna take it for at least three months before we try to take her off it.”

“But she’ll be fine?”

“Yes. The seizure is physically draining, that’s why she’s still not fully herself. She’ll probably spend the day lounging around, but that’s perfectly normal.”

I finally inhale a deep breath, filling my lungs.Luna will be fine. She won’t be another loved one I lose.

We deal with the paperwork; the vet gives me the prescription for Luna’s meds and, exiting the clinic, I feel a hundred pounds lighter than when we entered.

Lennox drives in silence, his large palm placed on my thigh.

“Thank you,” I say when he parks in front of my building.

“No need to thank me. Let me help you carry her upstairs.”

I nod, grateful for every moment I get to spend with him, though the carrier and Luna weigh six pounds all together.

The last twenty-four hours have been an emotional whirlwind. It’s hard to discern the feeling in my stomach from the adrenaline of last night and today. The panic from the lust. The overwhelm of everything that happened from something much more dangerous.

Lennox probably notices my inner turmoil, because he asks, “Are you going to be OK?” His eyes are full of concern, his touch feather light on my chin.

I nod, though there’s really no way to tell. I feel like I’m overdosed on all the emotions coursing my bloodstream.

A moment passes while we stare into each other’s eyes. Another one.

And on the count of three, his lips connect to mine.

His lips are heaven. Soft and exploring, they fit my own perfectly. I fall into the kiss while the emotions inside of me fall in line, like pieces of a puzzle. One by one, they all disappear. All but one.

One I promised not to feel.

I break the kiss, my eyes wide.

“I think we should stop this,” I say, all in one breath.

“Was something wrong?” His face scrunches, concern still visible.

“No.” I shake my head. “And that’s the problem. We had a deal… and I promised I would tell you.” My gaze falls to the side as I chew on my inner cheek. “We should stop this.”

His face is blank as he processes what I just said. When he does, the corners of his eyes turn down, his expression disappointed.

He puts his hands into the pocket of his jeans, his gaze moving to the floor before he eventually looks up, the blue of his eyes turned glossy. Every cell in my body screams for him to tell me it’s not over. To tell me this is just the start… of something amazing.

But instead, he says, “OK.” And I feel like I’ve just been slapped.

“OK,” I repeat, though nothing about this is OK.

“I’m glad Luna is fine,” he says before leaving my apartment.

I’m left standing there, as all the emotions from before pummel back.

You don’t get to be devastated, I tell myself.You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into. This was literally the deal.You’ll have sex, and when your silly little heart develops feelings, the sex will stop.

Before I’m able to stop them, tears form in my eyes. I take care of Luna, giving her food and placing her onto her barely used cat bed.

I hold it together until I sit on the couch, where I ultimately break down. My sobs and sniffles fill the room as tears stream down my face.

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