Page 39 of Taking Chances

Should I have said yes?

He is, after all, a guy I would normally go for. Sweet, polite, more on the nerdy side. But I’m not ready to date.

The books I read are by far the wildest thing about me. And not a lot of people know about them. Natalie is always on my case about the things I read and exploring them in real life, but I’ve assured her it it’s not something I wanted.

Fiction doesn’t translate well to reality.

The way Lennox commanded my body wasn’t something I’ve experienced before. The way I played with my nipples while he licked me wasn’t something I’ve done before, either. Nope.

I was always too mild, too timid for anything similar, preferring missionary with the lights off so I wouldn’t have to stress about how my body looks. But, shoot, nothing has ever felt like this.

Which is why I need to get to know myself first before risking losing myself in another relationship. Judging from that night, there’s a lot about me I don’t know.

By the time I’m done with work and back home, I’m still hot and bothered thinking about it. My hand itches to slip into my panties but it’s not something I often do. Sometimes, when reading my books, my fingers find their way to my core, but afterward there’s a bitter taste left in my mouth. Like what I did was shameful, undignified.

Sighing, I give up on the idea, grabbing one of my books instead. It’s a sweet, fluffy romance, not one of the spicier ones. There’s no need to make matters worse.

Rina and Connorpick me up after work on Friday.

“What’s the cabin like? Did you hit the slopes?” I ask them as soon as I enter the car.

Honestly, I’m excited for the weekend getaway. It’s weird that I was supposed to be there with Bryce, but after the wedding, he doesn’t occupy much of my mind’s real estate.

“The cabin’s gorgeous, you’ll see.” Rina smiles from the front seat. “And the ski runs are great, much better than last year’s. Though I only cheered them on from the sidelines this year.”

The thought of her not being able to ski hasn’t even occurred to me. “Right. Guess this isn’t the best ski year for you.”

“No, it’s been great. I’ve enjoyed the snow and the fresh air. Also, I caught up on a ton of rest while the two of them were skiing.”

Connor taught her and Eric to ski just two years ago. I, on the other hand, have been doing it ever since I can remember. My family frequented all the fancy ski resorts, but those trips were less about the sport and more about business networking. Me and my sister were typically left with an instructor while my parents hit the slopes until we were old enough to be included in the schmoozing.

I return Rina’s smile before turning to Connor.

“How’s the BYC baby coming up?” The new office Connor is building for us was named our baby since we found out about it, but there’s a real baby in play now, so it got demoted.

“It’s good. Everything should be going as scheduled. Though in construction, it’s a daily surprise, finding out if we still on schedule or if something came up that will set us backmonths.” He chuckles.

“Oof, sounds fun,” I reply sarcastically.

“It will be when it’s done.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” I practically squeal.

“We should be able to visit in a week or two,” Rina responds, turning a loving gaze to Connor. A pang of envy hits me. Both of my best friends found perfect men, men like the ones I read about, who are romantic and loving and devastatingly handsome. And my last date was afakeone.

“I look forward to it.” My gaze turns to the side, watching the scenery as we drive to Stevens Pass.

The snow gets deeper the longer we drive, the tall forest growing denser, and flutters of excitement appear in my belly. I can’t wait to hit the slopes. To feel the freedom of rushing down a mountain, leaving snow dust behind.

We chat some more, and soon, Connor pulls up in front of the cabin. I exit the car, breathing in a deep, freezing breath.

“Wow, this is amazing.” The cabin is magazine worthy. It’s huge and modern, but the A-frame and the wood siding give it a rustic look.

Connor grabs my stuff and takes Rina’s elbow to carefully guide her to the wooden front door.

“Be careful, Anne. I cleaned it up this morning, but I guess a few more inches of snow fell in the meantime.”

The stairs to the door are frozen and covered in snow, so I grab the railing with all my might, willing my clumsiness away.

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