Page 71 of A Killing Cold

“He killed himself, didn’t he?” I say, and now she does look shocked.

“Alexis said that?”

“Not in so many words.”

“Fuck.” She takes a drink, then tips it toward me. “Want some?”

I shouldn’t. But I nod. She marches back over, discovers there are no more clean glasses, and pours a measure into a mug decorated with mistletoe. “Happy holidays. Anyway. Yes. But I’m surprised Alexis told you. I don’t think she’s told anyone but me.”

“How does she know?” I ask.

She leans back against the counter. “He talked to her. Right before it happened. So when she found out he was dead, she guessed. But they told her not to say anything. Secrets and the Daltons, you know how it is.”

“Who told her? Rose?”

She shakes her head. “The old man, probably. He was the one who came up after Mr. Vance found the body. All I know for sure is that Alexis was sworn to secrecy. Rose and Connor have no idea. Trevoreither, obviously. It’s messed up. They deserve to know. But it’s not my place.” She gives me a look that makes it very clear that she doesn’t think it’s my place, either.

Alexis was fifteen years old. Fifteen and her father killed himself and she couldn’t tell a soul. It’s monstrous.

“She blames herself, you know,” Paloma says. “She thinks she should have known, figured out what to say. And instead of talking about it and fuckingdealingwith it, she did what she was told and she’s kept it secret all this time, no matter how much it hurts her. That’s what you’re getting into, Theo. And I swear, most of the time I think it’s worth it, but sometimes…” She swigs the rest of her drink. Slams it down. “Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself to fucking run.”

33

I walk as quickly as I can in the direction of the cars, scuttling around the south end of the lake to get to the road. Soon enough I have the gate in view, and then I’m over it, not breaking stride until I reach the same spot where that first bit of signal appeared like a fern frond poking up out of late spring snow.

When I left White Pine, I made sure to slip the phone I found in Magnus’s office into my pocket. I’m still wearing the same red coat, despite the slit in the arm, despite the blood. I don’t have a second one.

I take the phone out. I can’t access its contents, but maybe I don’t need to. I take out my own phone. Open the messages.

Stay away from Connor Dalton.

Maybe I should have listened.

I press the button to call the sender. I wait and wait—and then the flip phone lights up. Incoming call.

I end it quickly. Magnusisthe one sending the messages. I wrote him off as an old-school guy, but of course he’s tech-savvy. He runs multiple companies, deals with big international deals, and he’s not a figurehead or a hands-off kind of manager. And the gift? A dramatic gesture, to be sure. And also a way to drive home a sense that someone here wanted me gone.

I still have my phone in my hand. Seizing onto the thin thread of signal, it offers up my notifications faithfully. Three missed calls from Harper.

Two from that unknown number. Joseph.

I’m about to swipe the notifications away, but at that moment, the screen lights up, and it begins to buzz. Joseph is calling again.

I freeze in indecision as it rings once, twice. I never wanted to talk to him again. The thought of hearing his voice makes me shake. But Joseph might have answers. He might remember things that I didn’t know to ask about, before now.

I accept the call.

“Hello?” I say. My voice shakes, despite my best efforts. I decide to blame the cold.

“Dora, I didn’t think you’d answer,” Joseph says, and he sounds exactly the same as he did eight years ago.

“My name is Theo.”

“Theo, then,” he says. I was wrong. He sounds older. “Theo—it’s so grown-up.”

“Don’t,” I say. I shut my eyes. I’m not grown up. I’m shrinking inside myself with every word he says. Becoming the girl who wept and begged and pleaded with him to help her. “You said we need to talk. So talk.”

“Dora—Theo—I’m sorry for what happened. You have no idea how often I’ve wished I could go back to that moment,” Joseph says.

---