So she will have life. And Eden. And I will have the Narrow.
Eternity, without her. Anger and panic fill me.
“We will find a way to help you,” Grace is saying.Delis saying. Her hand on my cheek.
“No. You’re going to leave. You’re going to forget me,” I say. “You’re going to leave me down there to choke and drown, and I won’t have you. Eden will.”
She blanches. “What’s the alternative, Maeve? Both of us go back and suffer?” She takes a step back. Veronica and the others inch forward, protective.
“If you let Eden go, we promise we’ll find a way to help you... move on,” Veronica says.
I hiss, baring my teeth. “Move on? You want to destroy me. Send me off into oblivion where you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Wouldn’t it be better than this?” Zoya asks softly.
“I know how much you and Grace loved each other,” Veronica says imploringly, the past tense like a slap in the face. “Let her go, Maeve. She doesn’t deserve to suffer down there.”
“And I do?” I snap. I stalk forward, putting myself between Grace and the other girls. Veronica is the only one who holds her ground, rooted in place.
“That’s not what I said.”
“I am not going back into the water alone,” I remind them. “If it’s Eden who’s going to join me—”
“No,” Grace says quickly. She looks at the others. “Give us a moment. Please.” She gestures, imploring them to give us space. Veronica stays stubbornly in place, but Ruth puts a hand on herarm, drawing her back and whispering something in her ear. They retreat a dozen paces, and Grace turns back to me.
I look at her, shaking my head incredulously. “They think you’re an innocent in all of this,” I say. “They don’t know what you did.”
“What are you talking about?” Grace asks, sounding fearful.
“You don’t remember what happened the night we died,” I say.
She wraps her arms around herself, shaking her head.
“Then let me remind you,” I say. I walk to the edge of the water, looking down for a moment as I summon the memory. I turn toward the trees. “Oster stood there,” I say, pointing. “He’d always hated me. He was trying to convince you that I was no good for you. He told me you weren’t coming, and he left.”
“But I did come,” Grace says. Her gaze tracks from the edge of the trees to where I stand, and I know she’s remembering.
“I was so happy, that moment when you stepped into the moonlight.” My throat tightens at the memory. I reach out my hand, and tentatively, she takes it, her fingers cool in mine.
“I love you, Grace.”
“And I love you. But we’re no good for each other. You’re no good for me.”
“Why? Because one time I made a mistake—it was an accident.”
“An accident is something you didn’t mean to do. You wanted to hit me and so you did.”
“And then I told you I wasn’t going with you,” Grace whispers.
I close my hand around hers, holding her tight. She doesn’t pull away.
“I’d lost my temper a few days before. I hurt you. I didn’t mean to,” I say, drawing her close to me.
“It wasn’t just that, though, was it?” Grace asks. Her brow wrinkles, as if she is summoning memories from far away. “You hated when I spent any time with my friends. You were always convinced I was cheating on you. Flirting with other people if I even smiled at them. You called me names and screamed at me and told me that I was worthless, that no one else would love me. And then you hit me, and I couldn’t even tell anyone. I couldn’t ask for help, because you were my secret.” She looks up at me, tears shining in her eyes. “Oster was the only one I could talk to.”
“I made mistakes. You were so good for me, though. You were going to save me. Fix me.” I run a gentle hand over her hair. She swallows hard. A thin trickle of water escapes the corner of her mouth.
It’s not my fault you drive me crazy, Grace Carpenter.