Page 25 of Finding Love in the Clouds

Sophie moved to sit in front of him, swatting his legs so he pulled them in and sat cross-legged, his back still leaning against the headboard while she sat cross-legged in front of him.

She took his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers.

“It’s okay to be frustrated and uncomfortable, but you don’t have to be those things because of me. I’m your friend. Let me help you work this out. Not because of a family pact but because it will help you move forward.” Her gaze was loving and open.

Fernando felt safe with Sophie. Opening up was uncomfortable, but he trusted her.

“I don’t know. I went to a psychologist a few times when I was younger, and they said I had abandonment issues, and that was why I found it so hard to attach to anyone. When I do, I hold on with an iron fist, which they said could be very unhealthy. That is one reason I stopped dating. I always had a hard time connecting with others, specifically women, but I was also worried I would become a stalker or something,” he confessed, rubbing his thumbs over the soft skin of her knuckles.

“Okay, let’s go with that. How would struggling with abandonment make you not trust your family, which you have already chosen to let in and love? You have held onto them with an iron fist, if I’m not mistaken. Refusing to give up on Enrique even when it hurt to hold on.”

“When I love, I love all in. Every part of my being... like I want someone to love me. When I learned about Christ’s unconditional love, I believed it; I felt it. I wanted to be like that. And I am. But I still struggle with feeling worthy sometimes. I know my family loves me and will never do anything to hurt me. That is why Hannah sent that letter. I know it was her idea. She knew I couldn’t stay mad in light of their love.”

“Then why do you think you got so upset when I told you they had shut you down for twenty-one days? You trust Anthony and Gabriel with your business; they are much more successful than you are. Your advisors and they are the very reason you have the success you do. Why, then, did you get angry at them for taking control while you relaxed for a moment? Did you really think they would take FK Media Group away from you?”

“No, not really. I think… I think I may be terrified of failing. Like this was a sign that I needed my big brothers to come in and save my business. Like I wasn’t good enough to be successful on my own.”

“What do you think the underlying fear is here? That you will lose the business. Lose the fame? Lose the money? What was Julio hinting at?”

“Julio has always suggested that I was working so hard to be a famous author so that my mother would want me and come back for me.”

“Okay. Help me connect the dots. How do these two pieces of information fit together?”

“Maybe I’m fighting so hard to be in control of everything all the time because I need it to succeed, to grow, so that I will be worthy of my mother’s love. I have to keep getting bigger and bigger until my streaming services and name are known worldwide so she will see me and come looking for me wherever she is. Maybe I’m worried about failing because that would prove I’m not worthy.”

A tear trickled down Fernando’s cheek unnoticed, and Sophie’s heart broke. This man was so precious to everyone who knew him, but she had no idea how to show him that. She gently untangled her right hand from his and used her fingers to lift his chin so their eyes met.

“Fernando, I have no words that will mean more to you than those spoken by your family over the past twenty years, but I’m going to try because sometimes we just need to hear them from a different person—a different perspective. The most important being this: You said earlier that you knew Christ loved you when you heard the story of how he died for our sins and rose again to prepare a place for us in heaven if we believe in Him.”

“Yes.”

“If you are a Christ follower, you have asked Him to be your Lord and Savior, and you know you live for Him every day; there is nothing on Earth that can make you more worthy. If the very creator of theuniverse calls you by name, the attention or love of a mere mortal should mean nothing in comparison. I am not negating the power of a mother’s love in any way. I have no idea what happened the day you were born that led to you being dropped off at a safe place instead of being raised by your mother. I do know this: God blessed you with the most amazing family. You didn’t find each other; He placed you in each other’s lives for a purpose. You are a kind and caring employer. Yes, you hold too tightly to control, and your brothers are taking this time to let you see that you don’t need to. But you are a wonderful boss. The day you walked into that watch store and offered me this job was a miracle. I’ll tell you that story sometime, but I strongly believe God sent you to me and my family that day. We don’t always understand the path we are on, but trust in the Lord to guide you; you are doing His work. Your love for Him and the work you do for His kingdom is what makes you worthy. Not the number of billboards and online ads with your face on them. Not the billions in our investment portfolio. Your love of His people... all of them. The bad. The ugly. The downtrodden. God sent you to love others, and you do. Rest in the knowledge that He loves you, and He has sent you family and friends who love you unconditionally, too. Whatever happens with your mother, know that you are loved, and no failing of books or business will ever change that.”

Sophie stood, cupped his face with her hands, and kissed him on the forehead.

“Thank you for sharing your story with me tonight. I’m going to leave you to your thoughts and perhaps to call one of your brothers while I go call my family and pray for you.”

“Thank you, Sophie. Sweet dreams,” Fernando whispered, gently covering her hand with his own.

“Sweet dreams.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Fernando called Anthony and Hannah and explained what had just happened and his feelings about the situation, and well, everything.

Hannah cried, “I knew she was the one for you all along!”

They talked for almost an hour and prayed together. By the end of the call, Fernando was at peace with the situation at work and in a good headspace to enjoy this vacation with Sophie and truly explore what lay between them. Last night was uncomfortable but clarifying. Hannah said he had done a soul cleansing, and though painful, it was long overdue.

This morning, he once again ran before dawn and grabbed breakfast at the bakery down the street. The tour group was packing up and heading out this morning, so he waited patiently for Sophie’s alarm to go off before offering her breakfast. She opened the door in her robe. This time, it wasn’t even tied closed, revealing an oversized t-shirt and shorts.

Her hand shot out. “Co-ff-ee,” she moaned.

Fernando handed over the still-steaming brew and laughed softly at her morning manners. “You really aren’t a morning person, are you?”

“No!” she hollered, closing the door and proceeding with her morning routine. An hour later, she was perfectly put together and packed, rolling her plum purple luggage into his room and claiming the only armchair.

“Are you ready to head out? The bus pulls out in thirty minutes, but I don’t want to be the last one down.”

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