Page 24 of Finding Love in the Clouds

The seriousness in his voice and body language scared her a little. “Yeah, okay. I hear you. I know nothing. Enrique is just an IT Geek Squad or something. Got it. No need to worry. I would never say anything,” she assured him.

“I know, but... it’s dangerous. You need to forget that.”

“Okay, I got it. Consider it forgotten,” she promised, squeezing his fingers before taking a seat next to him on the edge of the bed. “What did Julio mean by you chose the inconvenient fear, not the one that was holding you back? What was his reason for calling you a chicken? And Anthony said something about trusting the family was the real challenge?”

“Okay super spy, you can read upside down now?” Fernando teased.

“I thought we were forgetting the NSA, and you just brought up spies. Kinda hard to forget if you keep saying it. And, yes, reading upside down is a particular skill of mine that you ask me to do quite regularly without even realizing it. Back to the question. If you go home and report back to the BBC that you addressed your fear of flying, are they going to consider this a fail since it wasn’t your biggest fear?”

“Maybe. Now that they have pulled this stunt and called me on it, I would say it is entirely likely.”

“Then perhaps we should come up with a plan to address the real elephant in the room. The year is nearly halfway over; you’re running out of time.”

“Okay, but it’s getting late. Maybe this discussion should wait for another day?”

“We are going to be on a bus for a large portion of tomorrow; we can catnap between stops. I think you should spill the beans, and let’s come up with a plan before you chicken out. What is your favorite saying, ‘We can sleep when we’re dead’ or something like that.”

“You’re grouchy when you’re tired. We will be getting our beauty rest on this trip. But I don’t mind explaining a little more tonight. I get very truthful when I’m tired. You need to go wash that stuff off your face, though. You look like someone pied you in the face, and it’s very distracting. Especially now that it looks like cracked pottery.”

Sophie chuckled as she made her way to her room to wash the clay mask from her face. “I can’t believe Hannah never used a mask. It’s so relaxing and refreshing. I will have to get her one for Christmas.”

“Hannah has amazing skin that is as smooth as a baby’s bottom. She doesn’t need a mask.”

Sophie popped her head back into his room, “I’m not sure Hannah will appreciate the comparison, and I will try not to take offense to your insinuation that my skin is not as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and I do need a mask.”

“That isn’t… I wasn’t saying…” Fernando ran his hands through his hair, wondering how to get his foot out of his mouth this time.

“Stop while you’re ahead, Andy, or you may wake up to find just how relaxing a mask can be. Get comfortable. I will only be a moment. Keep your clothes on, though; no surprises!” Sophie warned, still chuckling at his discomfort.

“Very funny!” Fernando shouted back, but he fixed the bedding from his previously messy search of the room so they could sit more comfortably on the bed. He then settled himself against the headboard and wondered how much to tell her. If he wanted to have a permanent relationship with her, he should be open and honest, but how much honesty could one person take, and how much to divulge at one time? If he didn’t handle this conversation well, it could be the end of everything.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sophie returned a few minutes later, fresh-faced, holding the fluffy blanket she had brought with her and a water bottle. She was serious about having this conversation.

Climbing onto the bed, she settled herself against the headboard, legs crossed, turning slightly towards Fernando. “Ready, Freddy!”

“I’m not sure where to begin,” Fernando admitted.

“Let’s start with what you think your biggest fear could be if it isn’t flying. The one Julio and Anthony alluded to,” she suggested helpfully.

“Uh, okay.” Staring straight ahead, Fernando toyed with the corner of the duvet covering the bed. “What do you remember me telling you about my childhood?”

“That you were abandoned at the firehouse one morning, and Colin McKenzie found you. Your lips were blue you were so cold. You were only a few hours old. He rushed you to the hospital and stayed with you until they assigned you to a social worker. He stayedin contact with the social worker and kept tabs on you, and as you got older, he came to get you on Saturdays to spend time with you. Eventually, he included Julio and your other BBC brothers in the Saturday morning pickups. He is like a father figure to you but never actually fostered you in his home.”

“I didn’t realize I had shared so much with you,” Fernando said thoughtfully, thinking about how much he must have trusted Sophie over the years to let that much about his history slip into their conversations.

“I picked up bits and pieces over the years. More came out when you hired Brice, Cory, and Callie.”

“Oh, well, you pretty much know it all then.”

“I may know some of the bigger events but not the fear that is holding you back. What do you think that is?”

“I think I have always struggled with abandonment. The fear of not being wanted, not being good enough to be wanted.”

“Okay, let’s say it’s that. How is that fear holding you back? How are you being a chicken now, as Julio suggested?”

“I don’t know!” Fernando scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.”

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