Page 49 of Finding Love on the Slopes

“Smells good,” she nodded, sipping from her glass before lifting a fork of twirled pasta into her mouth and savoring the robust flavors that burst on her tongue. Enrique agreed, Lorenzo had outdone himself with this simple yet beautifully executed meal.

Leighann sighed in delight as she chewed the pasta in her mouth. Lifting both of her thumbs to show her approval. Enrique did the same, and she grinned widely.

“So, how would you rate this date?”

“Well, we only just started,” Leighann responded. “But you’ve obliterated last night’s disaster. I can already give today’s date a seven out of ten, and the night is still young.”

Enrique hummed, sipping his soda and nodding. “I guess I still have some more work to do then.”

She winked at him. “If you’re up to it.”

“Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I’m always up for a good challenge.”

After they finished the meal, complete with a rich, creamy New York-style cheesecake drizzled in strawberry compote, Enrique cleared away their dishes and rolled the cart to the hallway outside before closing the door once more.

They reclined on the pillows, staring up at the stars, but instead of identifying constellations Leigh wanted to know more about Enrique.

As she lay with her head on his shoulder, his fingers playing with the ends of her long blond hair, she asked, “You told me back at the cabin that explaining the root of your fear of heights was a story for another day. Do you think you feel comfortable enough to discuss it now?”

She had chosen her time wisely. Being able to avoid eye contact when discussing something uncomfortable but also having that human connection to ground you when emotions ran highcould be helpful. At least, she had found it to be the case for herself.

Enrique was clearly surprised by this line of questioning and took a few minutes to think it through. “I guess now is as good a time as any. If we are going to move forward in our relationship, you should know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I hope you’re ready for this, though, because… you’re about to get the bad and the ugly.”

Chapter Forty-Three

“I’m not going to sugarcoat this, but I’m also not going to dump my entire life story on you in one setting. I’m hoping this relationship is the real deal, and we will have the rest of our lives to get to know each other. However, there are things you need to know upfront to make an informed decision as to whether you can be all in with me.” Enrique paused, but Leighann said nothing, merely nodded her head in agreement and placed her hand over his heart as if to say, ‘You’re safe with me.’ And he believed he was.

“I already told you I grew up on the streets. That isn’t entirely true. My brother Julio did, but I had a home, for what that was worth. I told you what my mother thought of me. She was always looking for an angle to get more of my father’s attention. What I left out was that my father was a monster. He beat herregularly, and when he could find and get his hands on me, he beat me, too. He was an angry, violent man. My parents were in a gang in the inner city. We lived in this crappy apartment on the seventh floor, and there was always someone screaming, fighting, breaking things, gunshots. When I was little, my parents ran drugs for the gang. I was used to transport them. Several times, they worked out deals for me to carry out at school. I, and other kids, would meet up on the sidewalk outside the gates, on the playground, wherever we were told, and swap packages. The first time I was caught and questioned by the cops, I was in kindergarten. A teacher, married to a cop, witnessed the exchanges happen several times before notifying the authorities; the next week, we were picked up. My parents said someone must have put me up to it. Dad made a big show of slapping me around a bit. I knew to keep my mouth shut. ‘Never say nothin’ to nobody’ had been drilled into my head from infancy. When that system fell through, I was sent out on my bike, left at street corners, and sent to local shops. My parents knew as long as I carried the drugs, they could claim ignorance; after all, we lived in a rough part of town. Even if I eventually got time, it would only be juvie, and it wouldn’t last long; I was so young. Pretty soon, they were moved up to bigger and better things. By the time I was in second grade, we were a three-man robbery crew. The gang picked the marks and got the intel. My family hit the property, got the goods, and carried them home. If I got caught, I was just a dumb kid who got mixed up with the wrong crowd. My parents always went out beforeand after a job, so they had alibis. I was supposed to be in bed, babysat by a neighbor. That was their story anyway... if I got caught.”

“I’m assuming that, given your age, something went terribly wrong if you met your brothers as a child,” Leighann interjected.

“Yep, pretty much, but that isn’t where my fear of heights comes from. See, I had learned to keep my mouth shut, but my dad always sat around running his trap to other guys in the gang when they came over to get drunk. So, one day, some of the other kids from the gang were harassing me, and I blabbed about the big score we had pulled the night before and how much money it was going to bring in. That evening, I was on the roof, doing my homework, where I could think with a little peace and quiet. My father came bursting through the door, mad as a wounded bear. He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, held me over the edge of the roof, and told me in great detail what happened to big mouths in the gang. The look in his eye told me he was out of his mind with rage. I had not only endangered myself, which I don’t really think he cared about, but I had endangered him. The next thing I knew, he let me go, and I was falling. To this day, I don’t know if his intent was to kill me or just scare me straight. I only survived because I landed on the fire escape below. The rusty railing sliced my head open and caused this scar to run halfway up my scalp. That is one reason I keep my hair long. If I wore it short like my brothers, you would see the scar plainly. When I made it back to our apartment, my father was watching TV with a beer, and my mother was livid.Not that I had almost died or been injured, but because I had put her in danger and bled all over my shirt. She sent me to a neighbor to get patched up, saying she couldn’t even stand to see my ugly face. And that is why I am terrified of heights and falling.”

Enrique rested his chin on the top of Leighann’s head, noticing for the first time that she was caressing his chest, trying to soothe him.

“In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say. I might as well tell you the rest. Rip the band-aid off and all. So, about six months after the roof incident, I remember I was at the end of fourth grade, and my teacher hated me. I was a straight-up thug at this point. Anyway, my Dad got a lead on this huge job. The gang had women all over the rich neighborhoods scoping out places, reporting on the families’ events calendars, and getting alarm codes. They had planned this job for weeks. The family was going to a fancy play, and the house would be empty for hours. There was money, guns, jewelry, you name it. It was easy for us to break into. Dad went upstairs to break into the safe, which an inside man at the manufacturer had provided, while my mom ransacked the ground floor. By this point, she was an addict, so she was erratic and slightly unhinged, too. She loved expensive things and wanted to keep every shiny thing she saw. There were some expensive crystal and Fabergé eggs on display, and she stuffed them in my backpack. I just stood there, wondering how I was going to run with this heavy pack on my back. My dad came down with a pillowcase full of jewelry, money, otherrandom valuables, and two guns he had found in the safe, but when he went to put it in my backpack, it was full of all the crystal. He lost his mind. He was screaming about how dumb she was and how he wished he could just pop her right there and be done with her. When he started pounding on her, I walked away and got inside my head to avoid what was happening in the living room. I pushed a door to a room open, and I saw a kid my age cowering in fear on the bed. He was the owner’s son and had stayed back because he was sick. I just stood there, frozen in fear, as he looked at me.” The memory of that night and the subsequent nights threatened to overwhelm Enrique; the edges of his vision blurred, and he rubbed his free hand over his face, trying to ground himself in the present before continuing.

“He was crying, curled into a ball, covers pulled up to his chin. I should have warned him to be quiet, told him to hide, or just closed the door and walked away, but I didn’t. I just stood there frozen, staring at him. The next thing I know, my dad is demanding I tell him what I’m looking at, and when I don’t answer, he rips the door from my grasp, yells a stream of curses that the kid saw his face, and then… shoots him with his father’s own gun. A gun he no doubt had in the house for protection but wound up being used against his family.”

Leighann stiffened, her breath catching in her throat when he said those words. She remained still, her ear pressed to his chest, listening to his heart race, trying not to show her emotions and stop him from talking. He was lost in his memories and didn’t notice her reaction.

“The next thing I know, Dad is dragging my mother through the living room by her hair. Her face is a bloody mess, but she is on her feet. Sirens are already getting closer, thanks to the gunshot, and our normal casual escape is ruined. There’s a plan, though, and as soon as we exit the house, I start running towards the subway. They captured my parents, but I was able to make a clean getaway. As long as my dad had time to ditch the gun in a storm drain, they would be home by breakfast. That was the other thing about my dad. He was meticulous. Not a detail escaped him. We always did jobs after a huge rain, so if we needed to ditch evidence, it went in a storm drain, and all traces of us were washed away. I lost count of how many times he was picked up, but nothing ever stuck. He never had evidence on him, and weapons were never found.”

Enrique adjusted himself on the pillows, tucking another one behind his head, then resumed playing with Leighann’s hair as he continued.

“I got on the subway before the cops could catch me. The plan was for me to ride in the wrong direction for the next few stops before switching trains and heading home, taking a circuitous route to get there. The problem was, I was exhausted after staying up half the night, watching my father beat my mother, shoot a kid, and then running several blocks with thirty pounds of crystal on my back… It all caught up to me, and I fell asleep on the train. Cops hopped on, and the squawk of their radios woke me up. I must have jumped because I caught their attention. They tried to question me and snatched the backpackfrom my lap. The doors opened at the next platform when they unzipped it to search, and I jumped over the seats and ran out the door. Without the heavy bag slowing me down, they had no chance of catching up. I made it home a few hours later and fell asleep on my bed. Fortunately, the boy didn’t die. The kid was traumatized and not talking. The gun was nowhere to be found. My bag had no identifying marks, and the cops didn’t get a good look at my face, thanks to my hat. Back then, DNA took time to run, so my parents were detained for twenty-four hours and then released. They disappeared to lay low for a while, so I was home alone for almost a month, taking care of myself. Then, one day, I was at school, and a kid from my building came late. He told me he saw my parents coming home when he was leaving. I was so excited I couldn’t wait to get home. Unfortunately for them, they had escaped the cops, but they had become a liability to the gang. When I got home, I found my parents, and it’s a sight I wish I never saw. Their gang is known for being particularly brutal, and they spared no effort on my parents, making sure to send a message to others about what happened when they got caught. I went in, packed a bag with clothes, and went downstairs to stay with a friend.”

Leighann sat up, no longer able to hear this story without looking at him. She took his hand in hers and held it while he finished, his gaze distant, lost in time.

“I was in school the next day, going through the motions. Child Services picked me up right after the final bell rang. They told me I would be put in the foster system because they couldn’tfind anyone to take me in, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about my parents’ deaths either. Part of me felt like a burden had been lifted off me, but at the same time, I had lost all sensation. It was like something broke inside me that day. There was no color in the sky, no flavor in my food. It was like I was a skeleton walking around but feeling nothing. I was bounced from one foster home to the next. No matter where they put me, I couldn’t get away from gangbangers or mean kids in general. It didn’t matter; I would fight them all. The foster parents got worse as the money grubbers were the only ones willing to take me. I started attacking them to protect myself. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve punishment for my behavior, but I wasn’t in the state of mind to take a whipping or be locked in a closet. I nearly killed this man who tried to take a belt to me. I was on a war path with the world. On high alert all the time. A hair pull trigger on my temper and violent 24/7. CPS thought it would be best and safer for everyone if I started over at a children’s home two hours away. Like I said, I didn’t really care. Nor did I have a choice, so I went peacefully. That is when I wound up at Divine Providence Boy’s Home and met my brothers. And the rest, I already told you. So now, you're caught up on the tragedy that was my childhood. The pact Julio proposed was for us to eradicate that last fear that was holding us back. For me, I had to address my fear of my father. I think I needed to face all of it. The plastic surgeon helped me with the scars from the cigarette burns and beatings, but the mental scars still give me nightmares at times. I took that black slope to prove to myself that I couldsurvive, that the fear of my father didn’t control me any longer. I am my own man. But in the process, I endangered you, and that put a whole new perspective on things.”

Leighann’s face was wet with tears. She had cried for the little boy in the story and the man who had pushed through that trauma to make something of himself. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight, comforting embrace.

Enrique’s body stiffened, his heart a tortured mess against his ribcage while his lips parted slowly. He wanted to say something, but he was still caught up in the pain from talking about his past and confused as to why she was hugging him this way.

“Leighann –”

“It’s okay to cry, Enrique,” she said against his shoulder, her voice slightly muffled by his clothes. “You can let it all out.”

---