Page 30 of The Hunt

“Shit,” Sloane blurted out as she glanced at her watch. “I have to get to my next class. I’ll write that email to Holler afterwards, okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded and rose to my feet. “I’m going to go hide in a corner of the library for a while. I think it’s safer for me there than anywhere else on campus right now.”

“That’s probably true.” Bree sighed. “I’d come with you, but I have to go meet my study group soon.”

After I’d said goodbye to the girls and promised to meet them for much-needed drinks at a local bar later, I headed for the library with my jacket hood up and sunglasses on, hoping that would be enough to disguise me from all the people on campus who were out for my blood. Thankfully, it seemed to work, and I made it to my usual corner on the third floor without anyone giving me dirty looks or yelling at me.

I sank into a chair and let out a groan, leaning forward to rest my head on the desk. Guilt was weighing down on me constantly, like a shadow I couldn’t shake.

I hadn’t told the girls the whole story about how Jake’s actions had affected me mentally. I didn’t tell them for two main reasons. Firstly, because I worried about how they’d look at me afterwards, and secondly, because it wasn’t really relevant to what happened to poor Julia anyway.

It was relevant tome,though, and the crushing shame of that dark secret pressed down on me all day, every day.

The truth was: for as long as I could remember, I’d had a fantasy that I’d never explored. A desire to be taken against my will. Completely helpless and at the mercy of a big, strong man.

I thought that fantasy would vanish after I saw how Jake violated Julia, but it didn’t, and every day since then, I’d worried what that said about me—that even after witnessing another woman’s fear and trauma from such a terrible crime, I still had all these dark wishes lurking deep down.

I kept trying to tell myself it was harmless; that I’d never actually want it to happen in real life. It was just a fantasy that had nothing to do with who I really was. But if that were true… why did I feel so guilty all the time?

It was almost suffocating, constantly reminding me that somewhere inside me was this inexplicable desire that didn’talign with what I knew I should feel. I should’ve been horrified by the mere idea of that desire; repulsed enough to wipe it from my mind completely.

And yet... it was still there. That wish to be hunted down and brutally claimed with absolutely no say in the matter.

I took a deep breath, forced those thoughts aside, and sat up straight. Then I spent the next few hours going over my old lecture notes and rewriting them so the information would really sink in.

At five, my stomach started to grumble. I packed up my books and trudged out of the library, keeping my head down to avoid people’s gazes. I considered going to one of the dining halls for a meal, but I knew it would be packed at this time of day, and I didn’t want to face any verbal abuse, so I decided to head straight back to my dorm instead. I had a few bags of pretzels and mushroom jerky on my desk, so that would have to be my dinner for tonight.

A few people in the hallway threw dirty looks at me when they saw me, but no one said anything, unless you counted the guy that mumbled something unintelligible under his breath as I passed.

When I arrived at my dorm, I hesitated and knocked on the door first. “Tessa, it’s me. Just letting you know I’m back, in case you need a minute to mentally prepare, or whatever.”

I heard footsteps from inside, but she didn’t respond.

With a sigh, I grabbed my keycard and pressed it on the electronic lock. Then I pushed the door open and slowly stepped inside, stomach churning with anxiety as I wondered how Tessa would react to my presence.

She wasn’t at her desk or on her bed. The bathroom door was closed, and I could see light spilling out from the crack at the bottom.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. Then I cleared my throat and called out. “I know you’re still really mad at me, but if you let me explain, I think you’ll understand what’s going on. Can you please come out of there and talk to me?”

She didn’t reply, but I heard her feet shift on the tiles.

“Tessa, come on. You can’t hide in there all night,” I said. “Unless you plan on sleeping in the shower.”

My words were met with more silence.

“I was just joking about the shower, in case you—”

I abruptly cut myself off as I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to see Bree’s name flashing on the screen.

I slid the green answer button across and lifted the phone to my ear. “Hey, how’s your study group going?”

“Oh, that ended ages ago, but it was fine,” she replied breezily. “Anyway, you need to come to The Cabin!”

I frowned. “I thought we weren’t meeting there until eight.”

“I know, but I ran into Tessa a while ago, and I explained everything to her. Please don’t be mad. I know you wanted to tell her yourself, but I really wanted to fix everything to make up for what an asshole I was to you earlier.”

My frown deepened. “Hang on… what?”

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