Because that’s the difference between Raif and me. I know how to stuff my feelings down and focus on the mission.
I know how to be a good solider and do my fucking job.
No matter how I really feel.
I hear the unmistakable creak of the closet door opening. No one moves, frozen in their half-way states of being, and I fight to look up from my cot, because I don’t want to see him.
I don’t want to see the pretty alien prince who keeps trying to poison my brain.
The clatter of heels is unmistakable. I know I need to remain still, quiet, like the others, but every ounce of training and adrenaline in me spikes the moment I see her gold heels in front of me.
“Rise,” she says, her voice clear and crisp.
I should do as she asks, if only because it is supposed to be ingrained in me to bow, to obey our rulers, but as far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe this parasite shit.
But I stuff down my feelings once more, doing as I’m asked, because she is the queen, and I am supposed to be playing the part of a dutiful skin so I can gather intel, and tear this monarchy down.
“Come with me,” she demands. I hesitate, finding my resolve, but the queen is impatient. She grabs me by the arm, yanking me off my cot, and it takes every ounce of strength in me to not access my training and deck this fucking bitch right in her stolen face.
I purse my lips as she pulls me, her grip on my arm harsh.
She pushes me through the closet, dragging me out like yesterday’s fashion.
A terrible thought crosses my mind that maybe that is exactly what she is doing.
Maybe she is getting rid of me, and panic forms in my gut.
I wish I could say I was worried because that would mean I failed, but beneath that panic is something much deeper, and much more awful.
If she gets rid of me, I’ll never see him again.
Ky.
I let her drag me down the low-lit halls through the backrooms of the castle.
I’m acutely aware that this is how I came here, smuggled in. Even though I wasn’t awake at the time, there is a strange sort of familiarity about the place.
We come to a large, double sided onyx door.
Funny, that wasn’t mentioned at all in the blue prints or my training.
The queen places her hand on the door, and it opens softly. She throws me into the room, her force stronger than it looks.
I fall to the ground, bracing my hands out to break my fall. My leg thuds against the stone floor as I look up at her.
I have to steel my resolve, concentrate hard as fuck to not glare daggers at this bitch.
Keep up the cover.
“I told him you were trouble,” she says as she takes a step towards me, the gold of her shoe glinting off the low light and blinding me. “But he took you out for a spin, didn’t he?”
“No,” I say, swallowing harshly. The need for self preservation, the mission, and to protect my mate layer that one word.
“Liar,” she says as she reaches down, grabbing a fistfull of my simple, white shirt.
She’s strong.
Stronger than I thought she would be.