Page 43 of Inevitable

“No,” he quietly instructed himself. “Don’t do it because she’ll be pissed.”

Kane came up behind him and slapped him on the shoulder. “Who the hell are you talking to?”

Brady spun around and punched his friend in the arm. “Make some damn noise when you come up behind me.”

Kane rocked back on his heels and snorted. “Not possible, my friend. Too many years of training won’t allow it.”

“Whatever.”

“Were you telling yourself not to go over and check on Claire for the five hundredth time today?”

“Fuck you,” Brady replied. “I only go by a couple of times a day.”

“Is that the lie you’re telling yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Good luck, then. Don’t think she’s going to put up with it for too much longer.”

Brady leaned against the wall and adjusted his ball cap. He knew Kane was right, but he hadn’t managed to back off yet. Something had fundamentally changed for him during the ambulance ride to the hospital after she was shot. Something that might never change back. He was scared out of his mind of losing her. All the memories of what it felt like during the two years that his mama battled cancer had come roaring back into his head. He was so young that all he could recall was the helpless, devastating feeling of knowing that the most important person in the world was about to leave him.

Seeing Claire shot had triggered feelings of panic and helplessness. They had settled in his bones, his heart, and his mind and he couldn’t shake them loose. Somehow, seeing Claire hurt threw him back twenty years and he felt like that little kid again. Which made him hover, cling, fuss, and generally make a nuisance of himself with the woman he loved.

Long-term, that was not going to work. All he had to do was get his brain and emotions to cooperate before he annoyed her so much that she pulled away. The fear that was ruling his behavior had to stop. And the sooner he could figure out how to do it the better.

It had never been a big part of his life and he didn’t want to give it a permanent home by any means. So, he had to find a way to deal with it and become reasonable again. If he didn’t, he had no idea what Claire would do. And he wasn’t real interested in finding out.

“Here come our students,” Kane said as their group approached. “Head in the game, Brady. These people need our best, so when it comes time to face the unimaginable they’re ready.”

“Roger that,” Brady replied as he stood up and shook out his arms. “Ready,” he said to Kane as much as to himself. It was time to get his shit together.