Page 42 of The Secret Life of Beatrice Alright

‘We’re on our fifth pair so far this winter,’ one of the other mams tell me with an eye-roll. ‘This place just eats your belongings.’

‘Yes. For sure.’ I say, remembering that time that Ellie lost a shoe. Declan sent me money for a new pair immediately and Ellie and I stopped by the shops on the way home. My chest tightens. Replacing Ellie’s clothes as she loses them or grows out of them is an issue I have never considered before.

I ask Alannah to keep an eye out for them, but she’s not entirely convincing when she says, ‘Yeah, sure, of course.’

Outside, I tell Ellie to put her hands in her pockets to keep warm but she takes them out regularly to pick up snow and squeal with delight, despite the snow nipping at her fingers and turning them red. When we finally get on the bus, she falls asleep on my shoulder in less than five minutes. It’s almost an hour’s ride to Cora’s stop and I use the time to search for flatshares on my phone. I’m trying hard not to fall asleep myself by the time we finally reach Cora’s stop.

I rack my brain for the code for the doors to the apartment block, and try a few combinations before I remember. We take the lift to the fifth floor and Ellie sings ‘Shake It Off’ at the top of her lungs. She seems to only know that single line, and repeats it over and over. I apologise to the man who gets off on the third floor.

‘A big Taylor Swift fan,’ I explain.

He nods. ‘Have a good evening.’

‘Yeah. You too.’

When the doors open and spit us out on the top floor, Ellie is overflowing with energy after her bus nap and I wonder how I am ever going to get her to settle down to sleep tonight. She juts her head forward and makes an exaggerated sniffing sound. I can smell the Indian food from the hallway too. It smells incredible and my mouth practically waters. The flat door is ajar and I realise Cora is only home seconds ahead of us. I knock but there’s no answer. So, I peek my head round the door.

‘Oh, you’re home,’ I hear Cora say.

At first I think she’s talking to me, but then I hear a man’s voice reply and quickly realise Finton is home early.

‘Thank God you got food,’ he says. ‘I’m bloody starving. Is it Indian?’

The voices turn lower and mumbling.

‘Hey,’ I call out loudly. ‘Okay to come in?’ I say even louder, feeling almost intruder-like.

Cora comes skidding into the small, open-plan living area that I have never realised before is incredibly white. White walls, white tiles, white kitchen cupboards and a white sofa. Colour is introduced in the form of oversized cushions on the couch and matching ones on the kitchen chairs. Even the kettle and toaster match this neon-cushion theme that can best be described asLove Islandmeets a dental hospital.

‘You’re here,’ Cora shrieks, throwing her arms above her head in delight.

Ellie copies her, then runs past me to fling her raised arms round Cora’s waist. Cora bends and picks her up.

Finton comes through the bedroom door soon after. He’s changed out of his work clothes, which I know will have been a smart suit and block-coloured tie, into a navy tracksuit that makes him looks like he’s still a kid in college.

‘Hi, Finton,’ I say, smiling.

‘Hey, Bea. Great to see you guys.’

‘Thank you so much for letting us stay,’ I start, fumbling over my words as I try to show my gratitude and hide my embarrassment that I’m in this needy situation.

He swats his hand. ‘Don’t mention it. Cora’s told me everything.’

I blush.

‘What a dick.’

‘Who’s a dick?’ Ellie asks, whipping her head round.

‘Oh, shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to swear,’ he says, then covers his mouth with his hand when he realises he did it again.

‘Right. I’m going to get out of here before I assassinate a unicorn or a fairy or something,’ he says, and I’m glad Ellie doesn’t know what that means. ‘My girlfriend would let me starve, so I’m going to the chipper.’ He dots a kiss on the top of Cora’s head as he passes and asks her if she needs anything while he’s out.

He takes his coat from the rack next to me and leaves, closing the door behind him.

‘I’m starving,’ Cora announces, pointing to the paper bag of food resting on the kitchen counter. ‘Why don’t you use my room to change, and I’ll get some sheets on the couch for you guys. Then we can eat.’

‘Sure,’ I say, beyond grateful, then I turn to Ellie and say, ‘C’mon. Let’s get your hands washed.’

---