Page 8 of Hunting for Love

“I can’t believe I’m waiting here while the guys are out there investigating this without me,” Jeff says, carefully moving a grate over the fire to start making lunch. My stomach gives a lurch of hunger that I pointedly ignore.

“Now you get a taste of how I feel every hunt,” Ronny says with a snort and something inside of me releases.Oh. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Ronny usually stays here. I’m filled with relief all the way into my bones. I take a breath before beginning my pacing again.

There’s something coming over me. Something I don’t want to put a name to. My body doesn’t feel right. It feels irritated and sensitive and like my skin is far too tight. I feel restless.

“How do you do it? I just wanna run after them and make sure they’re okay.”

Ronny shrugs. “Just think about it like an office job. You’ve delegated this task to one of your underlings.”

Jeff makes a face. “I hate that.”

“I knew you would,” Ronny says with an amused chuckle.

Axel comes out of his camper holding Lily and JJ comes padding behind. Ever since meeting Lily, my son has been attached. I’ve never seen him around another baby before so I didn’t realize the way he would absolutely fall in love. Every night he comes to bed, telling me all about what he and Lily did. Thankfully, Axel and Jeff don’t seem to mind him tagging along behind them.

Last night JJ tried s’mores for the very first time. The way his face lit up with excitement was rewarding, even if the extra sugar meant bedtime was a bit of a struggle.

My entire body goes warm. These people have already accepted us. They protect us. Theycare. I do my best not to get my hopes up.

Just because Ronny is my true mate doesn’t mean anything, not when the majority of the people here are a tight knit hunting crew.

I dig my claws into the dirt beneath me, taking my built up frustrations out as best as I can. I hate this feeling. It’s the unknown that’s bothering me so much. I just don’t know how Ronny feels, I don’t know how these people feel, I don’t know why I feel so fucking irritated today, and I don’t know how the guys are doing that left. Gods, I hope they’re okay.

JJ steps over to me and I weave myself around his legs, rubbing against him and marking him with my scent. “Are you okay, Papa? You seem upset.”

Of course he noticed. I chastise myself, never wanting JJ to worry about me. It’s my job as his Papa to take care of him, not the other way around. I let out a meow, letting him know I’m okay before going back to weaving myself between his legs, making him giggle. It’s a good way to get all this access energy out of me that’s seeming to build up out of nowhere.

Eventually, JJ grows bored of this game and heads back over to Axel and Lily. I’m left to my own devices once more which in this case, means my brain spirals back into anxiousness. I leap up onto the RV, laying down and watching the group around the fire. From here I have a good view of everyone.

My eyes leap over to Ronny, watching him work. He’s got his laptop in his lap, writing something out. I watch his fingers skim across the keys. They’re long and thin and work effortlessly. They tap away and I find myself growing warm all over in a less than innocent way.

Gods, what’s gotten into me?

I don’t even feel like myself right now. I feel out of control, like my brain can’t focus ononething before bouncing to the next thought. Yet, I keep coming back to Ronny. Watching him, smelling him, thinking about him. I want him.

I want himsofucking badly.

But it’s better to realize that I can’t have him now instead of letting myself hope. Hope makes it easy to be hurt. Hope makes you vulnerable. Being vulnerable isn’t worth it, not after everything I’ve been through with John.

“You doing alright up there?”

My eyes snap down, finding Ronny standing there looking up at me. When did he evenmove? He looks worried. Great. I’ve managed to not only worry my child but also Ronny as well. Fuck, maybe I should just go for a walk so I can stop bothering everyone around here.

I give him a meow I hope translates into telling him that I’m fine but the look he gives me lets me know he’s unconvinced. I shake my head, stretching my entire body out and meowing again. I carefully jump down with his help, bumping his leg with my head.

“I know you’re worried about the guys but trust me, they’ll be fine, Zander.”

I bite Ronny’s jeans, tugging on them for a moment playfully. He smiles down at me and relief so strong it threatens to force my shift hits me. That’s when I realize that Icouldshift again. My paw is feeling a lot better, good enough for me to be walking around on two feet instead of four.

The realization makes me freeze. Do Iwantto shift? On the one hand, of course I do. I want to be able to talk to Ronny and meet him as a man. I want to be able to hug JJ. But a small part of me is terrified. Things with Ronny are nice. He pets me and talks to me. But that’s because I can’t talk back. What if he sees me in my human form and stops having that easy camaraderie with me? What if everything changes once I shift?

I shake my head, doing my best to clear my thoughts. I bite Ronny’s leg again before walking away, looking back at him so he understands.

“Oh, umm, are you going for a little walk?” I nod at him. “Okay, but if you’re not back in 30 minutes I’ll come looking for you, okay?” I nod again and if I could smile in this form, I would be grinning from ear to ear. Hecaresabout me.

Gods, I hope that care lasts while in my human form as well.

I make my way down the path, finding the bathrooms. I look around, making sure no one is near before leaping up into the open window and crawling inside. The bathrooms leave a bit to be desired but they’re to be expected for a campground bathroom.

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