Page 6 of Hunting for Redemption

Gods, I can’t even remember. All I can do is continue to drink deeply until the bag is completely gone. I throw the bag on the ground with a growl, a sound I didn’t even know I could make radiating from the center of my chest. Before I can stand up and demand another bag, a bag is being tossed over the couch for me.

I scramble to grab it, ripping it open in the same fashion as the other, drinking my fill. Fuck, it’s so good and I’m not sure I’ll ever have enough of it. The compulsion to just keep drinking until I’m satisfied is there. Will it always be like this? Will I always be so fucking out of control? Will I become a monster?

I finish the second bag of blood as the thought crosses my mind and for the first time since waking up, a bit of clarity hits my mind.

I don’t want to be a monster. I can’t be. I’ve worked so hard righting wrongs in the supernatural world. What would Dakota think? What would Elwood and Rhett think of me? I’ve made it my life’s mission after stopping my sister to do whatever it takes to gain redemption. How ironic it would be to become one of the monsters I hunt.

I fall onto my ass, my back pressed up against the back of this guy’s couch. I close my eyes, covering my face with my hands. I let out a broken noise before sucking in a deep breath, searching for that fresh rain scent that seems to help center me. I find it and latch onto it, letting it sink into my very lungs, holding on so tight hoping it’ll ground me.

“I’m a monster,” I choke out, my voice coming out cracked. “I’m a fucking monster.”

The man is back. I’m not sure when he moved but suddenly he’s kneeling before me, his presence soothing me. I’m so thankful I’m not alone right now. I don’t even know who he is but he’s saving me from myself right now.

“You’re not,” the man says and I cling to his words. I pull my hands away from my face and stare up at him. “What happened to you wasn’t your fault. This is going to be a fucking journey though. But you’re going to be okay. Just because you’re a vampire, doesn’t mean you’re a monster.”

I didn’t want to think the word. I didn’t want to believe it. But now it’s been confirmed. I am a vampire. That fucking woman stripped my humanity just like she promised. Fuck. I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this.

I get my knees under myself before flinging myself forward into this man’s arms. It’s unfair, to cling to him this way. Thankfully he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight against his chest. That’s when I notice he has no heartbeat. He’s like me.

He runs his fingers through my hair. “You’re okay,” he murmurs, “I’ve got you.”

My eyes blink slowly. I’m overwhelmed and exhaustion pulls at me. This has been too much and I’m starting to shut down. My body and my mind need a break and sleep will do that. I sink against this man and let him hold me.

“I’ll take care of you. I’ve got you.”

I don’t know why, but I trust him. I believe that he has me. I trust that he’ll take care of me. I close my eyes and let the darkness take over.

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