Page 10 of Our Time

I shake my head, focusing back on the road. “Just thinking.”

“Are you regretting this already?”

“What? Fuck, no! I don’t think you understand just how fucking happy I am, Ben.” I pull Ben’s hand to my mouth, kissing the back of his hand. “Silly, silly alpha.”

“Okay,” he breathes out, adjusting his glasses. “Just double checking.”

“I think things are gonna feel a little weird for a little bit. We have to figure out this new dynamic, but I think we’ll get through that weird transition area with ease.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Ben says with a nod. “We’ve been through weirder situations.”

“True. Oh my god, remember that time you got your hand stuck in that coffee tin and I had to drive you to the hospital?”

“We agreed to never speak of that again,” Ben says with a dramatic whine, leaving me grinning from ear to ear. I turn up the radio to drown out his pleas and whines until we’re both giggling.

The day goes on like that, sharing stories, playing I spy, and holding hands as we take turns driving. My stomach flutters each time we touch, now with the understanding that these gentle touches areallowed. Not only allowed but welcome. My chest feels near bursting and I find myself smiling more than I have in a long time.

Being around Ben has always been my safe space, and now it’s so much more than that. I love him. I love him so much. I’ve craved him like this for so long and it feels unreal that I finally get to have him.

I’ll make sure he never regrets this. I’ll make him the happiest alpha I possibly can.

“My ass is numb,” Ben murmurs, the light of passing cars reflecting in his glasses. I let out a yawn, tired from being in the car all day. “Can we please find a place to sleep for the night?”

“Yeah. I think I saw a sign for a hotel at the next exit.”

“Thank god. I feel so gross. I need a shower.”

“I could use a shower too. We could save some water and shower together,” I say with a chuckle. I’m expecting some snarky comment but instead Ben stutters, his cheeks turning bright red. “Oh my god,” I blurt out, “I was just teasing you. Breathe, Ben. Breathe.”

He lets out a startled noise, something close enough to a laugh that I smile. “I’m breathing! You can’t just say shit like that, oh my god.”

“Why not?” I give him a giant pout. “Just admit you don’t want to see me naked.”

“I see you naked at work literally all the time, Ryder.”

“But this isdifferent.”

Ben looks over at me for a moment before his eyes are darting back to the road. “You’re right. This is different.” He shakes his head, the motion downright fond. My stomach warms. “There’s nothing I want more than to get you naked. But I think we should take things slow. I don’t want to rush and fuck anything up.”

I reach over, putting my hand on his thigh. “We can do that, but for the record, I don’t think either of us can fuck this up. Now that we’re here, there’s no getting rid of me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” I say softly, leaning across the center of the car and kissing Ben’s cheek. That same cheek turns pink. God, he’s so handsome I can barely stand it. I was just teasing when I asked him to shower with me but if I’m being honest, the idea of having Ben in the shower with me, naked and slick with water would be a dream come true.

Ben might be the sorta guy to wear flannels and skinny jeans but under his band shirts I know he’s hot as fuck. He takes great care of himself. His shoulders are broader than they were when we were teenagers, his body toned. He’shot. I want to get my hands and my mouth all over him, but only when he’s comfortable.

We can take this as fast or as slow as Ben needs. I’ve waited close to a decade for this chance to be with him again and if I’m honest, I would have waited so much more. Ever since we were teenagers, I knew he was my one. No one else ever compared to him.

As I hold his hand, staring out the window as Ben finds the nearest hotel, my mind wanders back to when we were teenagers. We’d been each other’s first everything. My sister used to say she assumed we were true mates and would be together forever. I believed her back then and part of me still does. Everything was perfect until the day Ben went into heat.

He was so distressed. All I wanted to do was make it tolerable for him. I helped him through it. After that day everything changed. Ben closed himself off. He started wearing scent blockers and immediately talked to his doctor about heat suppressants and transitioning. I think that was the moment he knew without a doubt that he was trans, finally accepting it, and knowing that he would seek out what he needed to do to transition. I’m happy he figured it out but my heart still breaks to this day that it took him being in pain to figure it out.

I’m glad we talked last night. For all these years I truly believed I’d fucked everything up. In my mind, he was disgusted by what I’d done to help him through his heat, rather than him being angry with his own body. Hindsight is a hell of a thing and looking back, I can see exactly what he means. He was upset that his body was betraying him, not that I’d fucked him through his heat.

Ben squeezes my hand. “You okay?”

I turn and look at him, nodding. “Yeah. Why? What’s up?”

---