Page 12 of Beauty & Corruption

Reggy

The sexual tension between Mordy and me rose every time we were alone, so I tried to avoid being by myself with him. Stone sure as shit hadn’t helped the situation, though. As juvenile as it was to have the mindset I did, I figured after one night of me in Mordy’s bed, he would bust through the door and drag me out by my feet if he had to. When it didn’t happen, I expected the next night to be the night he put his foot down. When the night never came, I sort of gave up. Did I still love him? I thought I did, but maybe he wasn’t the person I thought he was after all. The Stone I thought I knew was a force to be reckoned with and didn’t even have the word quit in his vocabulary. Unless, of course, it was when he was telling me to stop trying to be the hero. The Stone that my arms were currently wrapped around was a quitter, and I hated him for giving up on us so easily. He insisted I ride on his motorcycle with him instead of Mordy, and I thought maybe, just maybe, he had realized what a colossal dumbass he had been. Nope. The only reason I was on the back of his bike was Mordy had a flat tire, so he didn’t have any other choice other than to ride with me behind him.

Furthermore, I hated the person I was when I was near him. We weren’t good for each other—not that Mordy and I were better. All this time, I blamed Stone for being the biggest hurdle in our relationship—the relationship we had—because he wasn’t able to get out of his own way, but the realization that I was the common factor in every scenario wasn’t something I could ignore. I was the fuck up. I didn’t belong in their world, and what I wanted didn’t matter. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself; this wasn’t who I ever wanted to be. I was the kind of woman who took action into my own hands. That was what the old me would have done, at least. This new Reggy 2.0 was pathetic, and I couldn’t bear to look at her in the mirror without hating myself even more.

There was nothing monumental about this moment; I had been on the back of Stone’s motorcycle too many times to count, but I was different. I felt like I was, even if I wasn’t. It was as if the fresh air had lifted the miserable rock I’d been living under for the better part of two months. I wasn’t going to continue down a path where I continuously felt sorry for myself and allowed the men—and I used that word lightly—in my life to make decisions about my life without consulting with me first. I had been looking at all of this the wrong way. I listened when they said the only way to keep me safe was to stay with them, but the truth was I had been doing it all of my damned life. Was I thankful Sticks and Stone got Maryanne and me the fuck out of Dodge when someone shot at us? Absolutely, and I would always be; otherwise, we might not be alive right now. But this was no way to live. I refused to live my life, scared of the possibility that my dad or his enemies might come for me.

I pulled a refreshing breath of air into my lungs and let the cool breeze flow through my hair, letting go of Stone and spreading my arms open wide. This was the last decision any of these assholes were going to make for me. From now on, I wasdoing things my way and not giving a damn what any of them had to say—especially not Stone or Mordy.

Stone swerved, releasing a handlebar, and reached back, running his hand down my leg. “Put your arms down, Bird. You almost killed us.”

“Nope,” I argued, flapping them in the wind.

“For fucks sake, Reggy! What are you doing? Quit leaning so much unless you want to kill us both.”

I leaned a little more to the left, my eyes focusing on the trees as we flew past them and down the dirt road leading to their clubhouse.

“Bird!” he yelled and swerved again. I cackled but brought my arms back down to rest around his torso. Despite what his thoughts were, I didn’t actually have a death wish. Quite the opposite, truthfully. I had a renewed sense of purpose: to take the ownership of my life back from all of these stark brooding assholes.

“Are you insane?”

“Despite what you might think, I’m not. I do not have a death wish, and I never have. I’m just fucking tired of you all pretending like you know the best thing for me and how to run my life. Have you ever thought about what I want? It is mine. Did you ask?” I paused for him to answer as his motorcycle rolled to a stop, but I decided I didn’t give a shit. He didn’t deserve the courtesy that he hadn’t given me in a long time. The Crazed Kings made choices for my life, big ones, and didn’t stop to think how it would truly affect me. I understood the majority of them didn’t give a shit about me, but I thought Stone would have considered how all of this made me feel. I guessed I was wrong.

“Bird, I’m?—”

“You’re what? Sorry? Don’t you dare apologize to me,” I spoke over him, getting off his ride and staring into his eyes. “Idon’t believe you. For someone to be sorry, and I mean truly sorry, it means they change their ways. They right the wrong the best way they can. Not you, Graham. You throw words around like they don’t mean anything, and you never fucking change. That’s a problem. I’m done with all of you making decisions for me and my life. From here on out, I have a say in all things about me, the way God intended. Numero uno.” My hand smacked my chest a bit too hard, but I didn’t stop. I was on a roll. “And another thing, you, of all people, have no right to speak for me. You have let me stay in Mordy’s room for so long I question everything about you. And for what? Waiting for me to explore the bullshit feelings you say I have for him? Am I attracted to him? Yes, any woman with a pulse would be, Stone. But do I see myself falling head over heels for him and professing my undying love? No.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” he spat back in my direction once he got off his bike and seemed to snap out of the shock of me putting my foot down.

“Figure it the fuck out!” I yelled at him, instantly pissed he hadn’t already put the pieces together.

“Tell me, Reggy,” he ordered in a stern voice.

“No! You could treat me like a fucking human being with a pulse who is capable of making their own decisions, Stone. That would be a great place to start. Oh, and you could ask instead of telling me, and that would go a long damn way, buddy.”

“I am asking, Regina.”

“No. You. Aren’t!” I hollered, so mad at him that I saw two of him. Tears blurred my vision, and I turned away from him, stomping in the opposite direction of the clubhouse.

“Where the hell are you going? See? I asked. Is that better? Huh?” his raspy voice called after me.

“I don’t give a damn. As far as I’m concerned, I could walk to Iceland. I really don’t give a shit as long as I’m wherever the hell you aren’t!”

Mordy slowedhis tires to a roll after he passed me and made a U-turn. Great! Fucking great! I’d already had it out with Stone, and now it was about to be a repeat with Mordy. I was certain of it.

“Where the hell is your pretty little arse off to,Éan?” Mordy asked, the interest in his voice piquing as he questioned me. I didn’t answer him. My lips clamped tightly together, and my feet kept pounding against the dirt. I didn’t give a shit what he had to say; I would fight him tooth and nail before I let him drag me back to that damned clubhouse.

“Regina, will you answer me?” his voice all but purred.

“You talked to Stone?” Of course, he did. Stone was an asshole, but he wasn’t dumb. He had called to warn his brother, giving Mordy the upper hand in this situation. He didn’t answer. I wouldn’t have either. Just like a good brother, he wasn’t selling Stone out to me. He steered his bike far enough off the road that it wouldn’t be hit by a passing vehicle and then hopped off. As soon as his boots crunched against the gravel and dirt, my pace increased.

“Aye,” he finally spoke, chasing after me. Huh. I did not expect the truth from him, but really, I didn’t understand why when I took a second and thought about it. In every situation Mordy and I found ourselves in, I couldn’t recall one time hehadn’t told me what was on his mind. Today was apparently the ultimate day for epiphanies because I had never considered Mordy to be the one who told the truth. I had automatically grouped him in with Stone and gave him a shitty rep from the get-go. Well, no. That wasn’t exactly right. He’d earned my hatred by cutting me, but even then, he hadn’t lied to me.

“Mordy…” I stopped walking and turned to face him.

“Yes, lass?” He blew the air out of his lungs and took a beat to catch his breath.

“Do you lie to me?”