Page 37 of Chaos

“He threw her out and gave her divorce papers,” she informed us, shocking both of us.

“You were right, man. She really was only after my money.” Henry squeezed Drex’s shoulder beneath his hand and politely smiled at him.

I straightened my spine, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and out of place. Lexie handed me the bottle and I happily took it from her, wanting something to do other than appear awkward. After taking a quick swig, my eyes caught with Drex’s and I hoped that now out of any time he’d understand the words I didn’t say. I felt like a stranger in my own skin, but that would mean I actually knew and recognized the person I’d become. I didn’t. I wasn’t sure when I became a person who didn’t speak her mind and actually depended on others to make decisions for her.

“Want to go to my house?” Drex asked in a knowing voice, stuffing Lexie’s keys into the front pocket of his jeans. After a quick nod on my behalf, we both waved to Henry and her. There was no hesitation on my part at all. I wasn’t one to judge the situation they were in, but I didn’t want to be anywhere near here if his soon-to-be ex-wife returned. I had enough internal turmoil to deal with without welcoming external drama into my life as well.

There was enough liquor in my system to help me feel on edge, but not numb. I was hyper, but didn’t know how to release the pent-up energy. I turned the radio knobs until I found “Girls All the Bad Guys Want” by Bowling for Soup, a very unlikely tune to be on the radio, but it was a request. I nodded my head along with the beat and sang along, off-key, I might add. Drex laughed along with me as he tapped the rhythm out on the steering wheel.

We’d never needed falseness to fill the space between us, but right now we needed something to explain what we were doing, or at least I did. It wasn’t clear what had changed; maybe it was all me, but something was different.

“I can take you home, if you’d like,” Drex said in a comforting voice as the car rolled to a halt at the stop sign.

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to be alone.” Honesty was the only thing I could tell him right now. I didn’t want to tell him I was afraid to be alone, and I definitely wasn’t going to tell him I thought I needed him.

“Not at all,” he murmured and took my hand in his grasp, caressing my palm with his thumb.

When we arrived at his house, I was on the verge of being shocked by its size, and would have been had I not learned he was a doctor. It was much too large for one person, but I didn’t expect less from Drex, oddly. He wasn’t a person who wore expensive clothing and didn’t wear any jewelry at all, but his personality was so complex I wasn’t surprised that his house reflected his complexities.

We parked the car in the garage, and he held the door open for me to walk through as we passed the washer and dryer. Connected to the laundry room was a foyer with a large carpeted staircase, leading to the rest of the house. As we passed a door leading to the outside, I assumed, he checked the knob and locked the deadbolt.

Drex took my hand, leading me to the main living area. Neither of us had spoken a word, which until tonight, wasn’t something that would bother me. We thrived in silence. It was in the moments that we were allowed breaths that we found one another. Yet, tonight the air between us had changed. I didn’t know if I was alone in this feeling or if he felt the change, too. If he felt it, he hadn’t given any indication that he had. Insecurities swam in my head, and I prayed I wasn’t the only one who now had feelings.

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