Page 99 of Golden Rule

“We aren’t leaving until you spill it.”

The smile she flashes is just as forced as the last one. “You’re being weird,” she says, but she’s deflecting.

“Maybe, but I know my wife. I know when she’s upset, I know when she’s sad, and I know when she’s holding back. So, unless you want to stand here staring at each other all night, you’re gonna have to talk to me.”

She holds the smile a few seconds longer, then as expected, it slips.

“I didn’t want to do this now,” she admits, only now acknowledging that I’m not crazy, imagining things.

“Dowhatnow?”

She lowers the tube of lip gloss to her vanity, and while I’d typically be distracted by the sight of her in nothing but her bra and panties, I’m focused on the dark cloud that seems to be hanging over us.

Her gaze drops, staying fixed on the floor even when she spins on her stool to face me.

“Your shoulder,” she sighs, and just like that, I’m wishing I’d ignored all the signs something was wrong. Because this is thelastconversation I want to be having.

“Blue, we won today, which obviously means I’m okay.”

“You’renotokay,” she says, standing to take a step closer. “I saw your face today—the pain you were trying to hide. But you can’t hide it from me. Or fromJossfor that matter.”

Here we fucking go.

“She saw, too, West. And she’sworried,too. It used to just bother you when you pushed too hard, or every few months, but now? It’s all the time, which means it’s getting worse!”

I let out a sigh, and my thoughts slip back to the stop I made at Tripp’s. Part of me has been thinking lately—maybe I should’ve just kept the damn pills. Then, at least I’d be able to hide the pain, I’d be able to push through until the extra strength training starts making a difference. I’ve been wearing myself out heading to see the trainer after practice, doing everything I can to build muscle to keep the strain off my shoulder, but these things take time.

Time no one seems to want to give me.

“Now you’re pissed,” she says, crossing both arms over her chest as she shifts her weight to one foot—a clear sign that I’m not theonlyone pissed.

“Just… drop it.” As I walk away, feeling the need to put space between us, I hear her steps trailing me.

Give me a fucking break…

“All I’m asking is that we see a doctor about it, West. Maybe he can prescribe something,dosomething,” she reasons, but I’m sick and fucking tired of having the same damn conversation every other week.

I stop dead in my tracks, feeling hot blood rush through my veins as I turn to face her.

“And when thefuckam I supposed to have time for that, Blue? Between practice and strength training? Or would you prefer that I squeeze it in between doing my part to help get the youth center ready and one ofyourninety-nine-million doctor appointments? You seem to have all the damn answers, so break this down for me. I’ll fucking wait.”

The room is completely silent, and I stare into her eyes—frustrated beyond belief—as her face reddens.

“What’sthatsupposed to mean?”

I have an answer, but it wouldn’t be productive to start hurling words for the sake of hurting her, wanting her to feel just as frustrated as I do right now. So, I hold back. Only, it isn’t enough. Even without me saying more, she feels it.

Tears well in her eyes, and I wish I could take it all back, starting with being the dumb-ass who initiated this conversation, but it’s too late for that. What’s done is done.

What’s unraveled is unraveled.

“I didn’t realize I’d been such a burden to you,” she says, her voice breaking with those words. “But the last time I checked, I was only going through with these fuckingawfultreatments becausewe…decided to go through with it.”

Breathing wildly, I lower my head, wondering how we even got here. I’m in pain, trying to stay positive, trying to keep my head clear, but being constantly nagged about my shoulder injury makes that impossible. Still, I should’ve just kept my fucking mouth shut.

When I don’t respond, don’t reassure her that her assumptions are all wrong, she convinces herself I agree and starts backing away.

“You’resuchan ass!”

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