Page 96 of Golden Rule

“Dr. Tyler,” she says.

I hate that seeing his name instantly has her anxiety spiking, but I get it. I feel it too. The egg retrieval was a few days ago, and we were told we’d get a call with an update, so… I suppose that’s what this is.

“Give us a sec.” My words to the crew have them carrying on conversation without us as I turn to Blue. “Let’s take the call in the car.”

She nods at my suggestion, following me toward our SUV as she answers, unable to hide the nervousness in her voice. “Dr. Tyler. Hi.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Golden. How are you feeling?”

Blue climbs into the backseat and slides over as I follow her inside, trying to ignore how my heart’s racing.

“I’m… a little sore, but other than that, all good,” she says, letting a smile break free, but it fades quickly.

“That’s completely normal. You may have had a similar experience with your previous egg retrievals, so there’s nothing to be alarmed about.”

“Thanks. That’s good to know.” Blue fidgets with her hair, keeping her gaze trained on the floor.

“Well, I promised I’d reach out with an update on how we fared. You’ll be happy to hear that we successfully retrieved fourteen eggs, and nine have fertilized.”

Blue’s eyes slam shut, and she breathes deep. Those are better numbers than we’re used to hearing. The next second, I have her hand in mine.

“Wow, that’s… that’s incredible. Thank you Dr. Tyler.” Her words tremble as they leave her mouth, telling of the emotion she’s holding back.

“No need to thank me, but I’ll agree we’re off to a good start.”

I’m pleased with the news, too, but there’s something in his voice that keeps me from celebrating. It’s like I can feelhimholding back, so I’m doing the same.

“There is, however, something I’d like to explain. Is your husband nearby?”

Blue shoots a look toward me. “Yes, he’s with me. You’re on speaker.”

“Ok, perfect. I just want to make sure you both get a clear understanding, and I’d like to answer whatever questions you might have.” He pauses to breathe deep, and I get the feeling he may have just gotten our hopes up to shoot us right back down. “While Mrs. Golden’s egg retrieval went well, I have some concerns.”

I draw in a breath, holding it.

“I like to be completely transparent with my patients, and I kept a close eye on your uterine wall during the monitoring phase, Mrs. Golden. My hope was that it would thicken more in preparation for implantation, but… that process has been a bit slower than I’d typically like to see.”

And there it is, the other shoe we’ve been waiting to drop. My head lowers, and Blue’s hand goes slack in mind.

“So… where does this leave us?” she asks, pretending to be brave.

“Well, for now, it simply means we’ll be switching our plans from conducting a fresh embryo transfer to afrozentransfer. That buys us a bit of time to take steps to get your body better prepared for the implantation.”

“I just… I don’t understand why this is just coming up,” Blue stammers as her face reddens and tears gather in her eyes.

Today started off with such a high, only to have it fall off with one ill-timed phone call.

“I know this can feel like you’ve been blindsided, but this isn’t uncommon, Mrs. Golden, and this is precisely why we watch our patients so closely during the process. Every woman’s body is different, progressing at its own unique rate, so it’s sometimes difficult to tell from one week to the next what will change. Andwhile some doctors may take their chances and move forward with implantation, it’s been my experience that waiting and taking further steps greatly increases my patients’ chances of success.”

Blue wipes a tear that slides down her cheek, and I wish I could take this from her—the pain, the fear, the rollercoaster of emotions.

“So, what next?”

My head tilts when she asks that, wrangling in her sadness. Her resilience is sometimes unbelievable to me.

“For starters, I’d like to get you on two new medications that should get your uterus where I typically like to see it at this phase. From there, we’ll continue to keep a close eye on your progress, and in four to six weeks, we’ll re-evaluate and decide how to move forward.”

Blue’s chest lifts when she takes a deep breath, then nods as she exhales. “Okay. We’ll do whatever it takes.”

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