Page 69 of Golden Rule

Now, it’s starting to come together. This is about me disagreeing with her about Mike and Hannah.

“Idounderstand. I just have a different opinion. That’s still allowed, right?”

Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. She’s gonna get defensive and think I meant something by it that I didn’t.

Sure enough, she sits up, glaring at me from over her shoulder.

“Ialwaysencourage you to say how you feel, so don’t even go there,” she hisses, and here we fucking go.

“That came out wrong.” I turn over onto my back, pushing both hands through my hair as the tension rises.

“You havenoidea what it was like growing up with Mike back in the day.”

“And I’m not making light of that.”

“My mom left and, after that, not a single day went by that my dad didn’t drown himself in a bottle, West. And the root of all that self-destruction came down to one factor. Mom was gone,”she says. “I’ve seen where this story ends, and I’m not interested in seeing it play out again.”

“I hear you, Babe, but there’s no guarantee thinks will be like that.”

“Yeah, but there’s also no guarantee it won’t.”

I don’t speak a word, weighing what I’ll say next very carefully.

“So, ideally, what would you like to see happen where Mike’s love life is concerned?”

“I’d like for him to focus on beingwell,” she says. “Then, once he’s got that nailed, maybehe could think about finding someone.”

I stare at the ceiling, again weighing my words.

“Your dad’s not as young as we are, Blue. And let’s say it takes him a decade to get to where you want him to be. That’s a long time to ask someone who’s ready to move onnowto hold off. That’s kind of unreasonable.”

“It’s not an actual blueprint, and I said nothing about him waiting a decade.”

“No, but it could very well take that long for him to regain your trust.

“You asked what I felt would be ideal, so I shared that with you, West. That statement wasn’t something I’d ever say to him oranyone elsefor that matter.”

“Okay, but all I’m saying is that we can’t always control the decisions people make. And your dad being with Hannah is just one of those decisions. So, all you can do is sit back and let him live his life the way he sees fit, and be there for him if he ever needs the emotional support.”

“Even if he self-destructs again,” she says, forming the words as a statement. Not a question.

“That won’t happen. Mike’s done rehab, and you said yourself that you’ve never seen him doing this well for this long, so all I’m saying is… give him a chance.”

She’s silent, and I’m in limbo, waiting to see if she’ll be receptive this time. But it isn’t until she lies down again, slowly inching back toward me that I know which direction this will go.

I don’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her, just like before, without any lingering frustration or anger. She should feel that when I kiss the top of her head.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She pulls my hand from where it rests against her stomach, then kisses the back of it before responding. “And I’m sorry. This is just… kind of a sensitive subject, I guess.”

“All good.” I smile a little. “Besides, you’re kind of sexy when you’re tearing me a new asshole.”

She laughs, and the sound of it soothes my soul.

“I love you, Southside.”

Her body loses tension as those words settle with her. “Even when I’m being a bitch?”

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