Page 50 of Obsession

The walls of the dormitory room undulated like waves, Britta's image flickering in and out of focus. I might not be an Iron like her, but I knew enough about quantum matrices to understand this wasn't good. The simulation was collapsing around us, and if we were going to die, I did not want to leave anything unsaid.

I opened my mouth to finally tell her everything I'd been holding back, but she spoke first.

"It's not Zav.” Her words tumbled over each other. "It's you. It's been you since you first offered to help me seduce him." She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Maybe I had a crush on him, but it was never like what I felt for you—feel for you. And now that we might die in this fucking simulation, I don't care about any of the reasons why you and I are a bad idea.”

I was stunned. Not because of her revelation. I’d noticed her reactions to me—her flared pupils, her quick breath—but I’d alsonoticed how well she tamped them down. What startled me was the lack of caution in her voice. There was no measured logic or well-considered restraint. There were none of the characteristics that made her such a good Iron and made her so hard to reach.

Her eyes met mine, fierce and determined. "I've spent my entire life following rules, never stepping out of line, never taking chances. And what do I have to show for it? A bad work-life balance and enough pent-up sexual energy to power a starship."

I gaped at her, struggling to process that she'd been fighting the same internal battles I had.

Her cheeks flushed crimson and she looked away. "If this is the end for us, I had to tell you."

I should have been more worried about the rapidly disintegrating holo program, but at the moment, I didn’t care. There was only that moment, and in the sharpness of the situation, it struck me that there had only ever been the present moment. All my worry about what was forbidden had been a waste of time. Time that was quickly running out for both of us.

I closed the short distance between us. “I’ve wanted you since before you asked me to help you learn to flirt," I managed to stammer out. The walls flickered again, but I barely noticed. "Actually, I think I might have wanted you since the first time we played cards together.”

She looked back at me, blinking rapidly as if in disbelief. “During the term break?”

I took her hands in mine. “It was the first glimpse I got that there was more than the dispassionate exterior you show the universe.”

Her mouth opened, but I fought the urge to focus on the curve of her lips and how much I wanted to taste them.

"But I knew you were forbidden. You are a cadet, and I am an instructor. And you were my friend—are my friend.” I tookher hands in mine. “I think I offered to help you with Zav as an excuse to stay close to you.” I dropped my gaze to our entwined hands. “I might have also secretly wanted to make sure you did not seduce him.”

She gasped. “Did you purposely teach me things to make me look silly?”

I shook my head, stifling a laugh. “I just refrained from teaching you my most effective techniques. Getting your hair tangled in his horns was all on you.”

She pursed her lips, but I could see that the corners quivered with suppressed laughter. “It was a little bit his horns’ fault.”

I exhaled, closing my eyes for a moment. “You have no idea how jealous I was of Zav. That is why I challenged him to the climbing wall, although thegrekkingTaori is a better climber than you'd expect for a science officer.”

“Hey, scientists can be athletic.”

I didn’t challenge her on this, since clearly Zav was a skilled athlete, and all Drexian cadets—even Irons—were proficient in battle basics. “If we ever leave this simulation, I owe the Taori an apology.”

“I don’t think he noticed that I was making a fool of myself over him, or that you were jealous.”

I squeezed her hands. “Then he was a fool. As big a fool as I have been in wasting so much time with you.”

Britta's smile softened into something that made my heart trip in my chest. “I guess we've both been idiots.”

“Until now.”

She tipped her head to meet my gaze. “I wish I hadn’t been so scared—about so many things—but especially about telling you sooner.” Then a wicked grin spread across her face. "But it's not over yet."

Before I could process what was happening, she jumped up and into my arms. I caught her, but the momentum made mestagger backward. My legs bumped into the narrow bed, and I fell back willingly.

She was right. It was not over yet, and I did not want to have any regrets.

Her weight settled over me, familiar yet thrillingly new. The simulation might be failing around us, the walls might be flickering in and out of existence, but all I could focus on was the way her body fit against mine, the heat in her eyes as she looked down at me, the plump bottom lip that she nibbled as her gaze drifted to my lips.

The bed beneath us shuddered as the program failed, but I did not care. If these were our last moments, I wanted to spend them showing Britta exactly how much she meant to me, how long I'd wanted this, wanted her.

I reached up to cup her face, drawing her closer, savoring the soft sigh that escaped her lips. I might be a Blade. I might have been trained to die in glorious battle. I might have wished to go out a hero. But there were worse ways to die than this.

I crushed my mouth to hers.

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