Page 44 of Obsession

“I know what I said.” I huffed out a breath. “I don’t know why I did that. Maybe to get closer to you, to spend time with you, to have an excuse to be around you. But I knew it was a mistake almost as soon as I offered.”

She just blinked at me.

“Every time you practiced the walk I taught you or you tried to toss your hair —" I broke off, shocked by the intensity of jealousy that surged through me at just the thought. “I hated the idea of you using them on Zav. On anyone, actually.”

"You were jealous? But…but you can get anyone you want.” She shook her head as if rejecting what I was telling her. “From what I’ve heard, you have gotten anyone you’ve wanted.”

I shrugged, cutting off whatever rumors she'd heard. "None of them were you."

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

There had been so many reasons, and I suspected she knew them all. “Why do you think?”

Her shoulders sagged. “We can’t happen. You’re an instructor, and I’m a cadet.”

Before I could nod, she turned and walked ahead, her movements slightly unsteady. I watched her move through a patch of dappled sunlight, the golden rays catching in her hair, and something inside me broke. To hell with propriety. To hell with regulations. I no longer cared about any of it. I only cared about her. But was she willing to risk everything the way I suddenly was?

I started after her. "Britta—"

As I caught up to her and she started to twist toward me, the ground beneath her feet crumbled.

One moment she was there, the next she was dropping into darkness, one arm flying up as she fell. I lunged forward, reaching desperately for her outstretched hand. Time seemed to slow as my fingers stretched toward hers, knowing that if Imissed, if I couldn't catch her, if she got trapped in a pit and we couldn’t get to the academy—

I wasn’t sure of all the technicalities of holotechnology and what was happening to the simulation, but I had a horrible feeling that none of what we’d been discussing, none of what I’d been agonizing over, none of the risk I was willing to take would matter if I couldn't reach her in time.

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

Britta

My mind spun from Kann's confession.None of them were you.

The words echoed in my head as I stumbled forward, barely registering where I was putting my feet. I only knew I needed to move.

How was I supposed to process that? This was Kann—my friend, my instructor, the Drexian I'd worked alongside. Now he was saying he'd been jealous? That he'd hated teaching me to flirt because he wanted me for himself?

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that the kiss hadn't been just another conquest for him, that I wasn't just another female to add to his legendary list. But I'd seen too many women destroyed by believing pretty words from handsome men.

Memories of my friend Emily surfaced unbidden. We’d met during officer training for the Air Force and had become fast friends. She was smart, driven, and determined to rise high inthe ranks—just like me. But instead of seeing each other as the enemy, we’d joined forces and helped each other. It had been us against all the other guys who were certain they deserved everything more than we did, usually only because we were women.

Emily had been my only real friend, the first person I’d fully trusted. That was why I’d been so wary when she got married. She’d assured me that her husband wanted to support her dreams. He was one of the good ones, she’d said. Even when she’d gotten pregnant, she was certain she could take a temporary leave and come back. Only when her husband had started up with his secretary six months after the baby was born, did Emily realize that he wasn’t a good guy and it had all been lies. I’d watched her dreams slowly get stolen, and with every step I’d told myself it would never happen to me.

Never.

So why did Kann's words make my heart flutter? Why did I desperately want to believe him? Why did every fiber of my being ache for him to be the exception to the rule, for him to be the truly good guy?

“Britta,” his deep voice snapped me from my wandering thoughts.

I turned to him, wanting to hear what else he could say, wanting to be convinced so there was no doubt. I had barely registered the concern on his face, when the ground beneath my feet seemed to disintegrate.

My stomach lurched as I started to fall, panic surging through me too late, as I realized my distraction had kept me from watching for traps. The heavy leaves covering the ground had been hiding a pit, and I was going to plummet to the bottom of it. A scream lodged in my throat as my arms flew up instinctively. How deep was the hole? Would I break my legswhen I landed? What would I land on—water, hard ground, mud?

I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact when my descent jerked to a halt. My head snapped back, and my eyes flew open as it felt like one arm was ripped from the socket. “Fuck!”

I looked up to see Kann's face above me, his features tight with strain as he held me by one wrist and the rest of my body dangled over the dark hole in the ground.

"Are you okay?" he called down.

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