Page 63 of The Tenor's Shadow

Chapter 20

Anthony

Anthony knew he had hurt Freddie, but there was no space in his brain for relationship drama. His mind was overflowing with notes and melodic phrasing and staging and the overwhelming pressure of his upcoming debut.

Gabriela was waiting for him in the costume department. Together, they sorted through each of his outfits to make adjustments and plan out the backstage changes. Freddie trailed behind, silent and brooding. Anthony ignored the mix of frustration and anxiety stirring in his gut.

What if Freddie was right? Maybe he was putting himself in danger by going on. But Freddie couldn’t keep him wrapped in bubble wrap. This was the most important day of his career so far! He wouldn’t allow anyone to sabotage it.

This was why he didn’t date. It wasn’t possible to combine his life with someone else’s. Opera was his passion, and he wouldn’t back down from that for some boyfriend, even if said boyfriend was handsome and caring and annoyingly protective…

Anthony pushed his concerns away and kept moving forward. By the time he returned to the hotel, he was exhausted, jetlagged, and worn out from a long day of rehearsing. As he unbuttoned his shirt, Freddie was in his usual place by the window, looking out onto the city, his eyes scanning the sidewalks below. Now they weren’t the streets of San Francisco or Barcelona, but of the sprawling metropolis of New York.

Freddie turned to him. “Anthony, I think--”

“I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a lot.”

He stripped down to his boxer briefs and slipped into bed. It wasn’t a lie. He needed sleep, but he’d be unlikely to get much rest with the weight of the next day on his mind. Even so, he couldn’t open up another can of worms, have another conversation that would steal his focus. Freddie could wait until the performance was over to talk about his feelings.

Anthony drifted in and out of consciousness all night, fighting to keep calm. Every time he woke, Freddie was in that same position, staring out the window. Anthony knew he was unhappy, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Anthony dragged himself out of bed at nine, groggy and cranky. He wouldn’t even have the crutch of coffee today. He avoided caffeine on show days — he couldn’t afford to be dehydrated. Once he was in the opera house, the adrenaline would kick in and help him push through the fog of fatigue.

Anthony had a two-hour window on the actual stage of the opera house to walk through his track with Tara. The spring of the wood under his feet was energizing as his legs adjusted to the angle of the rake. He walked the path of his character, careful to be precise as possible. He wouldn’t want to get hit with any moving scenery. After an hour and a half, he was confident. The opera didn’t have complicated blocking, thank god. He was getting excited to show off his singing and his comedy chops.

All the while, Freddie stood to the side, silent and watching. He hadn’t spoken to Anthony since the night before, instead trailing behind like a noiseless shadow. His focus had narrowed to keeping Anthony out of danger. Anthony could sense Freddie’s eyes following him, snapping to any new person who came within spitting distance.

Freddie didn’t speak again until the stage manager gave the call for places over the intercom in Anthony’s dressing room. Gabriela and Anthony were chatting as Anthony put on his makeup, but Freddie had been standing as still as a statue against the ornate Victorian wallpaper. Anthony had been doing his best to ignore him when the announcement of ‘places’ came over the monitor.

“It’s time, querida.” Gabriela pulled the costume for Anthony’s quick change off the rack. “We should get down there.”

Anthony nodded, glancing at Freddie. For the whole day, he’d tried to put his vampire mate out of his mind, but now, at the precipice of what could be a huge moment for him, he felt a deep sadness, like the mournful tune of a cello. He’d wished for this for so many years, and he wanted this man, his boyfriend, to send him off.

Freddie must have sensed it, because he stepped forward and wrapped Anthony in his arms.

“You will be magnificent.” He pressed his lips to Anthony, soft and tender. They pulsed with Freddie’s care for him.

Freddie pulled back, looking deep into Anthony’s eyes. “I love you, Anthony. Go and show everyone the star that you are.”

Anthony’s breath caught in his throat. “You love me?”

“I do.” Freddie took Anthony’s hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. “And I believe in you.”

Tears welled up, and Anthony blinked them away. He had a job to do.

“It’s time.” Gabriela stood by the door. Anthony nodded and left the dressing room. Freddie followed out but turned in the other direction down the hall, making his way to the front of the house.

“I’ll look after him,” Gabriela called to Freddie as she and Anthony headed towards the stairwell. When they reached it, she pulled open the heavy door and smiled.

“Ready?”

“Okay. Yes.” Anthony stepped through and headed down the stairs, the combat boots he wore as part of his costume thumping on the concrete steps.

They were half a flight down when Gabriela put her hand on Anthony’s arm, stopping his descent.

“I forgot the shoes for the change. Let me run up and fetch them. You get into places. I’ll catch up with you.”

Anthony nodded. He tried to focus on the show, on all the staging he had learned and all the musical phrasing. Instead he heard the sound of Freddie’s voice echoing in his mind. I love you.

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