Page 22 of That Time I Accidentally Took Over the Mafia

Buzz.

He wiggles his phone at me, like I don’t know he’s texting me.

With a groan, I reluctantly unlock the screen.

Douche Canoe: would you watch me suck their cocks for you?

Douche Canoe: how fucking delicious would they be mixed with the taste of you?

Douche Canoe: like peaches and cream

Douche Canoe: you cant ignore us forever Peach. we’re inevitable

Now I’m wet.Perfect. My mouth hangs open for a moment before I snap it shut.

Me: I would have zero interest in that.

Enzo has been relatively quiet during the drive, but now he speaks, darkening his phone and resting his hand over Luca’s. “Your father wasn’t just the boss of the Italians. He was a strong ally with other families like the Russian Bratva. Since he’s died, things have started to unravel quickly.”

Douche Canoe: you use punctuation when you text

Douche Canoe: weirdo

Me: I happen to be a bestselling author. I can’t help that my natural sense of excellence overflows into other areas of my life.

Enzo continues, his voice low but intense. “Old alliances have fractured. People who were supposed to stay loyal... aren’t.”

Douche Canoe: are your panties overflowing right now thinking about how much of their cocks I can fit down my throat?

I shift in my seat, and I can feel him grinning next to me.

Me: You just used punctuation. Super weird.

I cut Jax a warning glare, but he clearly doesn’t take it that way, his thumbs flying across the screen again.

“And you found some fishy transactions, like money laundering? Does the mafia still do that, like the good-old-days?” I ask Luca. I catch the small twitch of his mouth, as if he wants to smile at my joke but doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction.

Buzz.

It’s Enzo who answers the question. “There’s been a lot of odd electronic traffic we’re tracking–payments that don’t make sense. The kind of stuff that shouldn’t have been moved, especially after your dad’s death. It looks an awful lot like someone’s been cleaning up the tracks.”

Douche Canoe: which pair of panties are you wearing? the red ones?

Me: You’re about to get blocked.

“How can you tell?” I ask, genuinely curious, while also trying to ignore the growing heat from Jax’s relentless flirting.

“Because it’s the same type of stuff we would do when we move on a family’s territory and take it over,” Luca says, finally weighing in. “Except it’s a lot sloppier. Intentionally so.”

Douche Canoe: or are you not wearing any?

It’s a natural reflex that makes me bite my lip, I swear. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I am not wearing panties and I would totally not mind if he checked.

Douche Canoe: I can just check for myself if you dont want to answer.

He’s a mind reader. A telepath. He can hear my thoughts. That’s the only explanation.

“So, someone is leaving messy electronic transactions on purpose?” The wheels in my mind are turning, secretly locking these details away to use in a future book. “Because that would distract you from the real stuff they’re actually trying to cover up.”

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