Page 90 of Playing Games

All this time, I never really thought about what Connor felt during or after our relationship. I didn’t know until now that I’d hurt him because I never even considered the possibility. And man, does that suck.

“I’m…sorry, Connor,” I apologize. “I’m really sorry I hurt you.”

“It’s okay, Lex,” he says with a smile and a laugh. “While I do appreciate the apology, that’s way in the past. We’re good, okay?”

I nod.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to put my AirPods in and get to work.” He flashes a wink in my direction and does just that.

I, on the other hand, am the human form of stagnation—at least, I am bodily. A cataclysmic event is hard at work in my mind. The fact that I hurt someone I really do care about and didn’t even realize it isn’t an easy pill to swallow, and it isn’t the first time I’ve had to try. My mom, my little brother, my stepdad, my dad—I’ve hurt them all at one time or another, just by being me.

And I’ve most definitely hurt Blake. With the way he looked when I told him to leave my apartment on Friday, I know I have. Unlike with Connor, I knew right then.

And I did it anyway.

I don’t like the adjectives I’d use to describe a person who would do that. And I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already have.

So, I do the one thing I do have control over.

Me: Blake, I really enjoyed what we had over this summer. I’ve had a lot of fun with you. I care about you. But our paths are not aligned. You have football and college, and I’m getting ready to head into the real world and start my career. I think it’s time we both move on.

Telling him what we had was nothing was a lie and a dirty trick. But if he thinks we can be together anymore without me hurting him again, I’ll need to keep my distance to make sure I don’t.

Even if it hurts me.

Blake

The sun has set, and the day has transformed into night, only the moon and stars residing in the sky. I’m sweaty and my legs feel like my shoes are carrying an extra ten pounds each as I stride into Lexi’s apartment building.

I’ve spent all day at football conditioning—running drills and doing agility training and suffering so much through full-field sprints in the summer heat that three guys on the team threw up their lunch. It’s been a fucking grueling day, and I know I should be at my apartment taking a hot shower and getting my ass into bed, because tomorrow will be much of the same.

But I can’t. Not after that text Lexi sent me this morning.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and if I’m honest, I’m angry about it. I have so many questions that are unanswered, and I won’t be able to sleep until I talk to her.

See her.

Try to figure out why she said,I think it’s time we both move on.

I don’t waste any time in the lobby, heading straight for the elevator, and it only takes a few minutes before I’m on her floor.

My heart races inside my chest as I lift my knuckles to rap against the wood of her door.

As footsteps sound on the other side, it only makes my heart pound faster.

The door swings open, and there she is, my beautiful Lexi Lou, standing on the other side. Her blond hair is up in one of her cute ponytails, and she’s already dressed for bed in her favorite sleep shorts and tank top.

She looks beautiful. But that’s no surprise. Lexi always looks beautiful.

“Blake?” she questions, and her nose scrunches up in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here because of this.” I take my phone out of my pocket and pull up the last text she sent me. “Is this for real?”

Her head jerks back, and her eyes flit to the floor for a long moment, fixated on her bare feet.

“Lexi? What does this mean?”

She brings her gaze back up to mine. “Blake, it means exactly what I said. It’s time for us both to move on.”

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